Warmth

It was a bustling, season-greeting Christmas Eve.
Billy put on his jacket, ready to have a night of his life.
Once in a year does this sensational feeling take its toll in his life.
And it wears off once the season is over.
He has just graduated from high school.
Better make the best of the last hours of holiday.


It was a lonely, dark Christmas Eve.
Kevin tried his hardest to wrap himself with his thin, ragged sheet of plastic.
It is the same year after year.
A continuous cycle of survival in the winter during the darkest night of the year.
This twelve year old has never met his birth parents.
All he wishes, is for the cold winter season to end.


The streets were jam-packed with pedestrians.
The side-walks were decorated with lights and music was in the air.
People carrying the Christmas spirit were dancing and mingling, as they counted down to midnight.


Kevin, in his isolated corner amongst the slumps, mustered enough courage to take a peep into the streets.
He grimaced with disgust.
"What is this Christmas?" He thought,"It's just a foolish time of disturbance to me."
He turned his back against the wall that separated the slumps and the city, closing his eyes in irritation.
Nevertheless, he was tempted to take short glimpses out into the streets, envying the happiness that he saw in the people.


"Sorry, I'm late!"
A cheerful, smart looking teenager arrived into Kevin's field of vision.
Gasping for air, he still wore a joyful smile as he greeted his friends.
"You're lucky you're in time for the countdown!" said one of his friends.
Kevin glanced at the clock located at the highest building in Meville Square, it was 20 seconds to midnight.


The countdown began.

20!..19!..18!..
People were staring intensely at the movement of the clock's hands, screaming as the numbers being shouted descended.

14!..13!..12!..
Kevin held the cracks of the wall, sticking half of his body out to get a better view.

10!..9!..8!..
The shouting of the crowd heightened.

5!..4!..3!..2!..1!..
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!


Within seconds, friends started shaking hands, wishing each other.
Couples and relatives hugged and exchanged kisses.
Even strangers who have met began to smile and greet one another.

Kevin managed to catch the smart looking teenager and his friends exchanging gifts.
Presents, nicely wrapped up in gold foil and perfected with a red ribbon on top.


A warm feeling manifested inside of Kevin.
He wanted to be part of it.
He wanted to feel the happiness everyone felt.
He wanted to know what is Christmas really like.
In the midst of his flow of thoughts, he was interrupted by a gentle and kind voice.

"Hey little kid, why aren't you out here with everyone of us?"
Kevin looked up, and saw a tall figure, leaning against the wall he was looking out from.
The person crouched down and gave a smile of assurance to Kevin.

"I'm Billy, nice to meet you!"

Precariously, Kevin stuck his head out nearer to Billy, observing him.
"Oh, wait!"
Billy placed his hand into his sling bag, as if in search of something important.
He took out a small, transparent box tied up with a ribbon, and slowly lowered it in front of Kevin's chest.
"Here, it's for you, I baked it this morning."


Stretching his hands out, Kevin received the gingerbread man cookie.
Holding it with his malnourished fingers, he looked up again to Billy.
Clad in unwanted pieces of clothing, no shoes and sheltered from the cold only by a plastic sheet.
Once again, Billy smiled at him.
He took off his jacket, wrapped it around Kevin and patted his head thrice before saying the words that now meant a lot to the boy, "Merry Christmas kid!"


Cold tears fell down the cheeks of the twelve year old.
But his heart was filled with comfort and warmth.
He had finally experienced the love and the true meaning of Christmas.


There are many, just like Kevin, whom have yet felt the Christmas spirit.
Looking for love and grace, but no one to celebrate with during the festive season.
All they need, is just a small act of kindness from those who are already blessed.
Even if they are strangers.
It can make a difference.

Go!

My absence for the past week is due to a mass mahjong spree every night(or shall I say morning) from Tuesday.

I need to be cured from my sunburn. Random comment. =]


Woots.

Surface

Enjoy. =)




All panels were done using Microsoft Paint.
Things I come up with when I'm bored.

---------------------------------------------------------

As time passes, the things I learn also become more and more valuable.
Things that I will remember for a lifetime.
Lessons that I will carry and teach my kids and students.
From generation to generation.

But the best has yet to come.
There are still greater things to be done.
Not by us.
But by future heroes and heroines of the next era.


Still, we press on and improve.
What we are in this time affects how much we impart into the next generation.

There will definitely be a time to pass on the baton.
For now, let's keep the grip on the baton strong and run our race.
I will keep on improving.

Booster-bug

Stole this from Jon's blog
A fragment of the infinite memories that I have from the term called "Brotherhood"


Relationships come and go, but Brotherhood stays and grows.

And my new phrase:
"You may be recession-proof, but you will never be Ryan-proof"
(and I'll give you a nice big hug)

Ouch!

Spiderman needs a break from being a hero once in awhile


Carelessly burnt my hand with boiling water yesterday.
(Even a superhero can get injured by burns)=]
I need to heal fast, so I can play my guitar for Prom tomorrow.

"By His stripes, I am HEALED."
Confess, Believe, Experience, then Testify.
He is the ultimate Superhero.

Scratch

(Expression of my feelings after I saw this photo again after a few months)

"Good luck, do a good job," said the previous performers.
They were stunning.
With the exchange of handshakes, they walked backstage and the curtains drew in.

It's our turn to put up a great show.
We walked out stage, dragging our guitar cables and making our ways to our respective stations.

The crowd, oblivious of our preparation behind the curtains, were still cheering their lungs out.
Trying to decipher the muffled voices out in the arena, distinct screams and shouts could be heard.
Some were demanding for an encore, many were screaming for the bands that have not performed yet.

And in the faint sounds of intertwining voices, I could hear some people shouting the name of my band...


At that moment, my heart started to pulsate even quicker than it was.
My mind raced with mixed feelings.
My fingers, meant for holding the strings of my guitar, went numb.
Goosbumps started to appear from the tip of my forehead to the soles of my feet.
Trickles of perspiration dripped down the sides of my cheeks.


It was then, when the curtains of destiny started to inveil.
At first, I received a blinding sensation due to the striking lights of the stage.
And slowly, just slowly, it disintegrated into a dark floor area, packed with jumping spectators.
The screams and cheering intensified.
The audience became excited.
They were ready.

This was it, the moment of my guitar "career".
The audience came for a great show, and we're going to give it to them.


I turned to my band members, only to see them smiling with satisfaction at each other.
"Let's do this," I said.


And with that, we rocked the house down and created history.
It was a moment in my life which will take alot of memory loss to forget.
The feeling of putting on a great show --> priceless

(p.s. I'm sorry if it sounded too exaggerated)

Back

Ta-da-i-ma!!
I'm back from Osaka, and I'm beginning to hate the weather in Singapore.
(I used to run several 100 metres without even breaking a drop of perspiration)

Didn't get a chance to take many photos, but I got a few shots which could possibly differentiate Japan from Singapore.

You thought Yoshinoya in Singapore was awesome, take a look at Yoshinoya in Osaka.
An illustration of a typical street outlet, with food which taste as good as first class restaurants.


This, is my favourite shop in Osaka. Cheap, but definitely worth it.

Hello Kitty Heaven. ^^


This, people is the BEST Katsu-Don I've ever tasted in my 18 years of living.
-On the left is the fresh and fragrant steamed rice, which makes up 1/3 of the meal's cost.(Note that rice in Osaka costs 5 times more than in Singapore)
-On the right is a hot plate, containing a tender and succulent deep fried Katsu, cooked with onions and a half-raw egg.
-And on top of that, there is a free-flow of ice cold green tea.(also present in every food outlet)

The Apples tasted great! and are two times the size of apples in Singapore.


Train station on the way to "Universal Studios", where I sat on the BEST roller coaster I've ever took. =D

Me and Miss Hello Kitty.


Hotel view. Could see students walk to school at 7am and walk back home around 5pm everyday from this window.

On the plane back to Singapore.


If you have noticed, I have mentioned 2 "BEST" moments in my life during the trip to Osaka.
I must say it was a worthwhile trip, although it was only for a mere 4 days.
Hope I didn't gain weight after eating so much.=)

Ja-pan

Heyheyhey,

I'll be off to the friendly and ever so incentric city of Osaka tonight and will be back roughly by 6-7pm on Friday.
Will be eager to see the type of culture present there.=D

Till then,
Sa-yo-na-ra
I-te-ki-ma-su.

Re-create

Our minds,
are not shaped by the things that we think.
But are nurtured by our environments.

What we think with our minds everyday, how we view things with optimism or pessimism and the way we evaluate things, our life-experiences hold a big responsibility in affecting them.
It's beneficial to start out right.
Without the right foot forward, we will veer away from the course into becoming a positive-thinker.
However, it's also not too late in life to reconsider and decide to make a change.


+P+O+S+I+T+I+V+E+


The past few days have been plainly phenomenal.
And I know it's just going to get better and better.

Till then, Adios.

Memories of You

Humans forget.
Our brain will reach a time where it's capacity will be limited to memories which we wished were more meaningful.

But, while we can still hold on to what's dear to us in our lives, please do.
Remember fond memories, is to reminisce.
But to recall unfortunate times, is regretting.

Every single person, every single significant event, I will do my best to keep them in my memory.
It's sad to forget.
Because it's the person you forget that will experience the greatest pain.
Knowing that someone dear to you has forgotten who you are.


I can imagine myself seeing people, seeing someone, anyone in my memory.
Just facing one another face to face.
And laughing about all the special times we had.
About the way we were before and how we've changed.
No words can explain how awesome it feels.


Memories changes lives.
Reminisce and don't regret.
Don't forget.


[The song that's playing]

Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt one year six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I can not forget

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

I can tell that you don't know me anymore
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

So many nights, legs tangled tight
Wrap me up in a dream with you
Close up these eyes, try not to cry
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that we can share
Falling into memories of you and things we used to do

-Yellowcard- One Year, Six Months

The other Side.

I'm going on hiatus for two weeks or so.
Going to be mugging for my upcoming papers.
Can't wait for them to be over.


Here's a bedtime story for A levelers. Enjoy.


He, is an adventurer.
After a plane crash, was stuck on Meridian island.(did I make it seem so bad)
An island, unknown to him, foreign at every glance, and definitely not desirable.

He, ain't Indiana Jones nor Captain Jack Sparrow.
He, doesn't have powers like Superman, nor gadgets like Batman, nor a rich-kid suit like Ironman.

He, needs to get out of this island.
By any means possible, he will find a way out.
This, is his destiny.



He is...The JC Student.


He has already ventured passed the oceans and made it through the dense forest.
Our courageous adventurer sees a tinge of light coming from the end of the cave.
Could this be the hope that he was looking for?
Is this the end of the torment and trauma?
Could this indicate the end of his 2 year torture on the island?

With all the strength that's left of him, he crawls through the small opening out of the cave.
But his smile transformed into a frown immediately after he got out.

Why??


He saw a bridge.
Not an ordinary bridge.
A dangerous, rocky and unstable bridge.

There are wooden planks.
Planks that creak the moment our brave adventurer sets foot on them.
But he doesn't give up.


Because, across the bridge, there is something worth dying for, something worth risking your all for, something which meant everything to any adventurer who went through the two years of torture.

F-R-E-E-D-O-M

Now, all that our heroic adventurer has got to do is to cross this bridge.
And the power-packed action movie will be over.
(that's supposed to be a sad thing but, oh wells)


Each step our mighty adventurer takes on the life-risking, heart-stopping bridge, he makes sure he doesn't panic.
One wrong move and the wooden plank he's stepping on will collapse.
He hangs on to the rope he's holding when he trips and falls, because it's not over till he has crossed over to the other side.
"Don't fall now," he tells himself. "I ain't gonna let the current sweep me away."
He'll make it.


Dear adventurers who have suffered in torment for the past two years and are eagerly crossing the bridge to freedom,
We're THIS CLOSE to the end of the journey.
We'll make it.
To the other side.

Osmosis

Late night fridays at Val's
Will miss you guys
Friends?Nahh..Brothers=D

Officially multiplied 2 days back.
How time really flew since I started out 2 years ago.
We were just 9, in no time, we were 27 and getting ready to split.

I've seen characters change for the better.
Attitudes improve.
Seen the best in people like I've never seen before.
We unleashed our potential.
Soared into greater heights.
We placed what was first in our lives.
Sacrificed our all for the greater good.
And what's the result?

Quality + Quantity = Multiplication + Rising up of leaders


We're going to go for it again and again.
We're going to grow more and more.
Who knows how many cell groups and CGLs we're going to have in the future?
Or even ZSs and Pastors?

It's going to be an exciting journey, can't wait for it to unfold.

For greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done HERE and NOW.

Showcase

I just love how they do it.
World's best bartenders and cocktail flairers.

><

There's seriously SOOOOO many things I want to learn and looking forward to after A levels.
It's going to be tremendously exciting.
I can't wait.

Realization

She sat there, on the ledge, savouring the tingling breeze as it swept past her toes in mid-air.
Why was she here?
How many times has it been?

Closing her eyes as she tilted her head towards the dark, haunting sky.
She numbered the stars one by one, each with a reason for being there.
With every star, the hurt inside her seemed to exacerbate even more.

Filled with angish, she clenched her heart as forceful as she could, longing for the pain to diminish.
But with every thought of it, the hurt became even more excruciating.


From top to toe, by just looking at her, one could recognize the weightage of her frustration.
Disheveled hair, dark eye rings from sleepless nights, biting lips and scars on her arms and legs from penknives.


Was it over?
What can compare to what this girl has been through?


She stood up.
Her malnourished feet felt the cold marble floor at the edge of the building.
Watching her tear drops fall 30 stories down to the ground.

She took out her phone.
24 missed calls.
With all the arm strength that's left in her, she flung it as hard as she could.
Waiting a few seconds before she heard it crumble and crash into pieces of nothing.
Will she be next?


Anticipating her final steps, she took a deep breath of midnight air.
Looking down below, her feet started to shiver.
She shut her eyes with all her might, preparing for the final leap of her 16 years.
Does her family want to know where she is?
What about her friends?
Who in the world cares if she made the biggest mistake in her life now?




"I care, because I love you."



A sudden realisation.
A crucial skip of her beating heart.
A sense of calmness sunk into her body.
A feeling of warmth, serenity and security.
She hesitated for a moment and retreated by a metre from the edge.

"Who, who is there who loves me?"


"I do, for you are My daughter, and I love you for who you are."


She dropped to her knees as she broke down in tears.
Out of everyone, she had forgotten the One who loves her the most.
Disappointed with people's actions and words, she had forgotten the One who is capable of meeting her expectations.
Upset with fluctuating emotions, she had forgotten the One who can provide her with perfect love.



She climbed down the ledge, swaying with emotions, but saved in the spirit.

Check, Yes Juliet

2 more weeks and it'll be here.
4 more weeks and it'll be over.

When I was in secondary school, we used to have a cement wall like those in army camps where soldiers had to jump and climb over them.
A few good friends of mine and I will take turns to run from far till we gain enough momentum and confidence to out-climb each other.

There were a few times when situations like this happened.
From afar, it looked so tiny and easy to overcome.
But as I got nearer, fear started to sink in and I would break hard just in time at the foot of the wall.
The foot of the wall.
It was only at that point when I realised what a giant I was facing, not what I saw when I was a few metres away.
I would then try and try again until I was confident and managed to make it over to the other side.


Right now, there is no "trying again and again".
I only have one shot at it. (who would aim to get retained??)

Fear creeps to many hearts during this leg of the race, making the cement wall seem so huge as the day approaches.
Choose to see it differently.
Although we walk through the valley of death, we shall fear nothing.


Make that cement wall look so small that you are capable of walking over it without much effort.

Or death or all his friends

My favourite 2 designs out of the many we made =D
Good Job guys.




Only $15.90 per shoe, customized by us.
Please support: http://iamshoes.blogspot.com

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Look at me and see me inside out.
I shall be transparent before you.
I will turn to you.
Be my mirror, my sword and shield.

heh

This week marks the start of my mini-entrepreneurship group.
It's not really concrete yet, we're just earning capital first.

This is the only product we are currently selling.Mary Janes

We take orders, customize and then design up to your expectations.
Selling at a cheap price of $15.90


If interested, or for further details, please call me. =D

Coach me

One might say that things in life have a way with themselves.
Maybe they are forced.
Or do they come by for a reason or purpose to make us better/worse off.


Seasons change.
People change.
Characters and personalities change.

And somehow, we are faced with a challenge to choose.
What we truely desire to have.


We are riduculed everyday with different senarios and situations.
Bombarded with perplexing questions and unwanted thoughts.
Pressed hard on every side.
But are we shaken?
Do we shatter into bits and pieces?

That's your decision.



We humans, by nature, want things our way.
Badly.
We desperately cling on to things that seem impossible to attain.
Unaware that the more we hang on, the more we will never even be able to smell it.

We can't let go of things from the past.
Neither do we choose to embrace what is set before us which may help us in our current situation.
Stubborness gets the better of us.
"It's either my way or I'm not going anywhere!"



Acceptance is the key to our questioning minds.


Take it this way,
It's 20 seconds from the end of the game.
The crowd is anxious.
Your team is frustrated.
You can't seem to make the hoops.
You're down 83-85 and all you need is a shot from one of the star players.
Your basketball coach tells you to make the pass, and sends the team off.

The crowd stands and cheers as the game starts rolling.
Some with hands clutched tight to one another.
Others with arms in the air, counting down to the final whistle.

You have possession.
Your buddy's waving his arms, signaling for the pass.
You stand frantically behind the white line of the semi-circle.
"I can do this, once I get this in, it'll be all over."

You take one last glance at your buddy as you prepare for the jump.
But all you could feel was his disagreeing angish from his expression.
Your eyesight becomes myopic as you release the ball from your palms.
Slowly, you stand in dispair.

Stubborness, to selfishness, to weariness, to guilt and regret.



Sometimes, we do not need concrete evidence to prove that things will go right.
He knows what will happen and why things happen.
He knows what's best for us even if we ourselves aren't aware.
He is our coach, the one who has been through it, lived through it, and understands it all.
When He says it, we listen.
Seldom do we need to question.
Never do we have to doubt.


Listen to what your coach has to say.
It's good advise.

+

knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door.
press, press, pressing on heaven's doorbell.

"Please enter."

The song that's playing

Awesome Song.
If you're a guitarist interested to play it, sorry if the chords are misplaced.


F C
When I left home to be who I am,
Dm7 Bb
Some people said "No Way".
F C
But I laid it all down, gave everything
Dm7 Bb
In my head rang the words that my father said.


Dm7
You're never far,
Bb
I will be where you are.
Dm7
and when you come to me
Bb C
I will open my arms.


F
Welcome Home, you
C
I know you by name.
Dm7
How do you do?
Bb
I shine because of you today.
Dm7
So come and sit down,
C
Tell me how you are?
Bb C
I know son, it's good just to see your face.


F C
When I look at you holding my heart
Dm7 Bb
I will give to you all that I have
F
Son I know there'll be times
C
You will feel all alone
Dm7 Bb
I will share with you the words my father said


Dm7 F
So I’ll be waiting for that day
C Dm7
Just to feel Your warm embrace
Bb F
Your love has shown I will never be alone
C Bb
For You will welcome me home
Dm7 C
I’ll forever be, for you will say to me
Bb C
Welcome home.


Can't wait for that day He'll welcome us all home with open arms.
With a smile on his face, proud of us glorifying His name, He says "Welcome Home my Son."
And we'll fellowship like we've never did before.

You are.

The world, is sad.
Disappointed to the bone.
Upset in every inch of a person's body.
Frustrated at every moment caught by one's eyes.

It's easy to put up a front and claim that one is alright.
But deep down, there's a fear, an irritation, a hatred that lingers.
The hand of the devil.
It grips onto the hearts of many and refuses to let go.
Every now and then, it claws and holds on tighter, making the pain excruciating.


Why??
Why must people feel this way?


Their hearts are filled with darkness.
The emptiness tinges body, soul and spirit, and leaves a void which attracts the claws of the murderer to sink deeper and deeper.


Evil, evil, evil.
Question: "What can compare to the evil of the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy?"
Broken relationships, wrong mindsets, unforgiving grudges, incomprehensible attitudes are all part and parcel of it.
You see them everyday, you feel them every minute and you may think of them every single second.

Hope I don't sound negative enough to be labelled a pessimist.



On the flip side of the coin,
"What can compare to the One who has come to heal the brokenhearted, to save those who seek salvation and proclaim revival?"

Take 1 minute to think about it.



Done?
You may have thought of various senarios, pictures, words and phrases that could have represented Him.
Majestic robes, a leader with boldness and courage.
Some may even compare Him with purifying streams, tantalizing water, the gentle breeze that sooths one's soul.


But the truth is in fact, NOTHING is comparable to Him.
"I AM who I AM...Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, 'I AM has sent me to you'" - Exo 3:14

Wait a minute.
You may say, "Man the bible sure has bad English, who in the world says statements like 'I am has sent me to you'?"


Well, you just said it.
It's in the bible and it will remain in it for eternity as it is the truth.


NOTHING is comparable to Him, nothing.
Hence, it is stated in the truth of all truths - "I AM"

I am, what?
He is, what?
You are, what???
What is He?


Everything.

There is nothing that can compare with the king of kings, so it is finalised that He is.
You are.


And since everything is Him, it definitely outweighs the many which describes the evil of the world.
Who would choose many if one is promised everything?


He is.
Yesterday, today and for eternity.

Turn that dark, blood-stained claws into white, majestic wings that will protect not only your heart, but every part of you.

For You are.

Adoption

I never really understood the word which revolves around the world of parenthood.
(The word above if you didn't notice)


In a way, one has to love the person he/she is adopting FROM SCRATCH.
On another page, the second party must also adopt the first as a parent/sibling/guardian in order for the process to be complete.
In other words, is it easy for it to happen?
It's difficult.
Very difficult.
Unless both parties come with a heart that's willing.



I was adopted, not into my current family, but into the family of Christ.
25th December 2006, I was accepted with open arms.
And time seemed to pass by so fast.
Many else became my brothers and sisters through adoption as well.

But amongst all, it is 5 of my younger brothers whom I am most proud of.


I adopted them the same way that I was adopted.
And even showered them with even more love and faith than what I have previously received.

"Whoever waters shall be watered also", but how can I know how to water others if I haven't experienced from others who know how to water?
How can I be a blesser if I haven't been first blessed?
And I have been, many many times.
Now I pass it on to them.



But the best thing is this.
They move my heart the way real siblings do to each other.


When they received salvation, my heart broke.
When I see them growing, I smile.
When I know they hunger for Him the way I do, I am proud of them.
When they say, "Ryan, I'll support you!", I'm sure I'll cry the way a big brother does.

And I want to take care of them the way a big brother does as well.


As for this adoption,
I was willing to accept them as my younger brothers.
And they were willing as well to acknowledge me as their brother.


And thanks to them, I finally realised the meaning of adoption.

Rejoice

Prelims have ended.
Hallelujah.

Now time for a short-term holiday. =)



Waiting for the assurance of approval is one of my flaws.
With the comfort of knowing I am 100% right or guaranteed free from risks.
That's it.


"Do you agree that human beings should live more dangerously?"
That was one of the questions from my GP paper 1 which triggered this thought.
To think that something from an exam could trigger my thoughts.


And to think that I agreed with the author, when I myself is an irony of what I wrote.
Contradictory.


"A servant is someone who acts upon listening to orders."
"A Son is someone who acts upon initiative because of a divine love for his Father."


Taking risks is one thing, but having initiative is a step further than that.
And the success that will be obtained will come from the constant experience from failure.
I fall, but I will learn, and emerge stronger than before.


Soar.

for a higher purpose

Okay, let's ignore the video and focus on the words for a minute.

"I am the wind.
On land, no blade of grass moves without Me.
At sea, every rising wave is touched by Me.
Wherever you are, I am high enough to see you.
And strong enough to reach out to you.
And place strength in your hand.
You may not always see Me,
But you'll always feel Me.
For I am here for a higher purpose."


Sounds like the words someone familiar might say?
I know. =)

Crack

Stress is an issue of the past.
It will perpetually come to haunt me, but it never stays for long.


Raindrops on my window paint a million smiles for You.
My soul rests on your silhouette, all I need is found in You.

Comfort

The questions get tougher as the days go by.

Seems to pass by so fast, but the thought of what lies ahead lingers.


When I am weak,
He is strong, mighty and awesome.

This time, I was positive I wasn't alone.
He was by me, whispering words of guidance in my ears.



I've seen people frustrated.
Some broke down.
Desperate for another chance to change their answers.
I didn't know it was that bad.



I've seen my weak self once again.
"I can't do it."
"Why not just give up, I can't get a good grade anyway."
Tormented by the stress of daily regrets.
"Why didn't I do it right?"
"This won't get me anywhere."

Pessimisms of life.
Not only does it bend our thinking, it breaks.
The human mind tends to lean to the negative.

We need some motivation.
Some encouragement, not from any other person.
Yes, it may help, but it wears off somewhere, somehow.



The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He lets me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul.
......
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.


He comforts me in times of crisis.
In times of need.
In times when I'm of my weakest state.
He is there, 24/7 to guide me in my ways.


Hope I get good grades.^^

The One

SongJie and I with similar shoes.


Rockers.
Thanks John for uploading.


Sometimes, we are so mesmerized by the sights and sounds.
And we say to ourselves, "I really want to capture this on tape."

But I rather that people enjoy the moment rather than have it on the picture, you might even miss when searching for your camera.

It's true a picture paints a thousand words.
But what are pictures compared to unforgettable memories?
If a picture paint a thousand, memories paint millions.


Why not enjoy moments which are rare to get by, and THEN take a picture after you're satisfied.

Root three

I fear I will always be,
A lonely number like root three.

A three is all that is good and right.
Why must my three keep out of sight,

Beneath a vicious square-root sign.
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick
With just some quick arithmetic.

I know I'll never see the sun
As 1.7321

Such is my reality,
A sad irrationality.

When, hark, just what is this I see?
Another square-root of a three.

Has quietly come waltzing by
Together now we multiply

To form a number we prefer
Rejoicing as an integer.

We break free from our mortal bonds
And with a wave of magic wands,

Our square-root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed.

-Kumar's Root-3 poem

Chapter 56

"Run, run as fast as you can,
You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbreadman."


I feel like I'm floating on air for the past few days.
So many things to complete,
So little time.

But surprisingly, I feel satistied, contented, filled to the brim.

Trust me when I say I haven't been studying much.


Why do I feel so calm at a time like this?
I used to be frustrated that I couldn't get formulas into my head.



"All those who seek, come to Me, and I will give you rest."
That's what He said.

And that's what I did.
He gave me the best rest I could experience in my 18 years.

We as humans, do things, and are obstinate towards the dire consequences that follow, even if it was emphasized many times before.
I learnt one thing in the past month.

With Him, dire consequences are seldom.




He writes a book, a story about our individual lives.
When we are born again, He writes even more pages enthusiastically, eager to finish with a happy ending.
"He is the author and finisher of our faith."

But us as humans, are often stubborn.
We want things our way, we don't want to follow what He has written.
So we tear out some of the pages in this book and insert some of our own.


Now,
Think of how the author of the book feels.
Not only does it frustrate Him when we destroy what He has planned for us, but imagine the extra effort He must put in to edit the rest of the story behind that torn page.
You can't have a nice novel with a page that is inconsistent with the story.


I choose to read the story He has prepared for me, anticipating what awaits as I turn the page to the next chapters of my life.

Fiona

As I stepped into the entrance of the store, my eyes chanced upon a dark, slim figure.

I glaced back and forth to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.

I saw her, for the first time.



I wandered around the store for moment, watching her as she stood by her friends, many friends.

I decided to walk closer, to get a better view.

Trying not to be suspicious, I pretended to be interested in the stereo-systems while keeping her at the corner of my sight.



The moment was right, this was my chance.

I took the few steps of courage up to her and looked her in the eye.

Bizzare as it was, her friends lay motionless as they stared at me.

Being curious, I too had to look at a few of them.



I gulped down what seemed to be my last breath.

I put my arms around her.

One hand supporting her neck and the other on her body.

.
.
.
.
.


I picked her up.
And she went back with me to my place.



We had a good time so far.
Got to know her alot even if it was the first day we met.


She's special, that's why I picked her amongst all her other friends.
Some even demanded a higher price for their loyalty. =))


Say hello to Fiona.
Isn't she pretty.
She's like a human soul singing to me with her 6 strings.











And no I'm not guitar-fetish.

clockworks

It is not because times are difficult which causes us to have no faith in ourselves.

But it's in fact of the absence of faith which results in things being difficult.

Jan

So much to do, so little time.
I guess A levels will always feel like that for generations.

I can proudly say I did alot in the pst few weeks.
But I can't help it but feel I didn't do enough.
This goes for the majority of the cohort.


Prelims in less than 2 weeks, hope I can pass them with flying colours.

Bookworm

Question: "Mr Pang, what do you do for a living?"

"I study, and study, and will be studying until I grow old."

packed

Two men.
Walking on the pathway towards their peace.
Swaying from side to side,
Speaking words as they proceed.

Some think they're drunk.
Others think they're just weird.
But every few metres seemed like a mild step in a desert with no way out.


They haven't been sleeping well for the past few days.

But the journey back refreshed one of them, so to speak, and completed the day for him.
Instead of words they were speaking, they were singing songs of praise, songs of worship.


Yes, they didn't converse much, although they had alot of similarities and burdens to share from the past week.
All they needed, however, were each others company, and the company of another special person, The Holy Spirit.




Thanks for the company, and all the countless times we've walked back and forth from your house to mine refusing to return home before the other does.
You're a true brother, John.


"Busy people change the world."

Friendship

If someone asks you this question:

"What are you proud about yourself?"

What and how would you answer?
Someone asked me that yesterday, and I had alot to say to him.


But soon enough, another question shot out at me, "What is the most valuable thing you've learnt in your JC life?"

AWESOME. I got a whole bunch of formulas and knowledge I could reiterate and emphasize over and over again, but not this time.


"What is the most valuable thing you've learnt in your JC life?"

Well, I would strongly agree that I've learnt a whole deal of knowledge in JC.

From Electrophilic Substitution Mechanisms to Double Slit Experiments.
From The Invisible Hand of the Market to 3SPs and 2DPs.
And how double angle formulas make your vision split into two.

But all these are trivial. T-R-I-V-I-A-L.
All these stuff, take time, a loooong time to learn and to master.
I have to confess, my brain can't take all the definitions in my Chem notes.

But are these subjects which have such a huge chasm of distictiveness and contradiction between one another the most valuable thing you've learnt???

Well, some may say so, but not for me.


What's my answer then, for that perpetually perplexing question?

FRIENDSHIP.
Not just ordinary friendship, not friendship that will definitely last, but friendship forged because of a kind heart.



Meridian Junior College is like any other school.
We have the cool, the emo, the nerds, the sporty, the groupies, the slackers, any type of personalities you can find in any school in Singapore.

So that means, we also have the outcasts.

I know a few people, both from my batch, the previous and the next, who are constantly being ostracized from their classmates, from their "peers".

Don't look at me, you know who I'm talking about, there're bound to be a few in your school too.


People find it difficult to "click" with these lost souls.

These are what people in the world would think:
"All these people want is attention, what's their problem?"
"Why are they so arrogant, what's their problem?"
"This guy is so vulgar and rude, what's his problem?"
"He's so childish, what's his problem?"
"He has no mind of his own, what's his problem?"
"They think they look cool in that? What's their problem?"


Well, they are true. To a certain extent.
They DO have problems.

And their problem, could be amazingly similar to others with the same personality.
It was not in their DNA, it was cultivated from young.


This is what He, who is wise would think:
"He seeks attention, he could have a family who neglects him."
"He's proud of himself, he may have been influenced from his arrogant father."
"He has low sensitivity in this speech, his previous friends must have been vulgar."
"Due to his immaturity, he must be suffering from low self esteem."
"He follows and doesn't lead, he has no confidence in himself"
"He wants to be known in school, may be he's not acknowledged in his youth."

Now, compare these opinions with the ones before.
Which do you think is the mature and optimistic point of view?



Truthfully speaking, it is not easy to think this way, I've tried and tried.
But slowly and surely, a day will come when insultive thoughts are outweighed by compassion and sincerity.

Through my days in JC, I've learnt something which will never leave my mind - "Hurt people tend to hurt people."

Using that phrase of understanding, I have learnt less to point fingers and laugh at others. But instead, link hands and cure their hearts one step at a time.


THAT is the most valuable thing I have learnt in JC.

!

I miss Pre-U Seminar...badly.

Alienified

It's like eating a huge, extravagant ice cream cake.
It tastes awesome in the first few bites.
But you get sick of it after you've eaten too much.

Steady.

Moulding

It came down from above.
Catching it as it drops.

What a split second reaction.
The moment of comprehension.
Failed to slip pass trembling fingers.


It ain't wrong.
But it certainly isn't right.
It hits like power-packed punches to the chest.

Can't it be better?
It's not that simple.


Stop thinking, it'll resolve.

"Insanity is like gravity, all it needs is a little push." - The Joker


As steady as it gets.

The first song on the playlist

Scott Stapp - Surround me

They say no man's an island but I tend to disagree
I guess they've never seen my island,
And where it lies at sea

I'm lost inside my memory.
I'm still in disbelief.
If I could paint a picture for you this is what you'd see



I'm down on my knees,
Begging you to rescue me.
Please stop me
Don't let me run
Surround me, surround me now.



A wounded man sounds desperate when he's lost all his belief
Can you look into my eyes and say you won't betray me

We're running out of time
How precious time can be
I'm counting all the moments of the times you could have helped me



I'm down on my knees,
Begging you to rescue me.
Please stop me
Don't let me run
Surround me, surround me now.


Awesome song, I'm going to learn how to play it.

Nostalgia

It's amazing how time can pass so fast.
In a few months time, I'll already be sitting for my As.

Ironically, I would say that time has not pass much for me.
Instead, it's going by rather slow.


Walking back today, I had a reminisce of myself and my friends before.
We will be hanging out in town, chilling at each other's houses and playing basketball all day long.
Time has changed.
Time has made us different.

Now, they're all driving cars and setting up businesses and making money, something I wouldn't have forseen and imagined them being when I was a kid.



I can proudly say I'm still young.
People even mistaken me for a 16 year old, and I will forever look that way. =)
I remember my secondary 2 literature teacher who was 24 saying, "I am 20 years old and I will still be 20 even if I'm old and frail."

Age is not a factor.
Yes, adults may say that we're still young.
But youth is something which should not hold back our decisions or dreams.
I can do alot of things while I'm young.



The wrong perspective of one's youth is like serving a prison jail term.
People underestimate our potential because they think we're too young, and we feel that we have to serve that "compulsory" jail term before we are ready to start afresh.
However, God has the funds to bail you out of prison and unleash your capabilities.


Take it this way.
Imagine you have the potential to earn a million dollars before you become 35, but you've yet to discover your potential until you've tasted the real deal.


What most youths think, is that they're not good enough to achieve their future aspirations when they're still young.
"We're too young."
"We're too naive."
"We're not ready."
Then I guess you'll be serving a pretty long jail sentence.



Instead, start now.
I may be busy, but that will not stop me from achieving my future goals.
And mind you, these are not my "when I turn 60" goals, these goals will be achieved before I turn 30.


"Let no man despise your youth; but be an example of the believers, in word, in speech, in conduct, in spirit, in faith, in purity."


He has bailed me out from prison, it's time to start afresh.
Dream big.

Washed

Everyone say hi to my dog "xiao bao".
He's an old dog, a very old dog, way older than an average dog can live.
He's turning 17 soon.

I may not have mentioned him to anyone much, but I really love him.
He has brought joy into my life.
I can even say that he understands me alot.
He knows better than me what time I'm supposed to wake up for school.[yes, he gives me wake up calls often]

But he doesn't have long to live.
Doctor gave him a few more months.
It's a miracle that he has made it so long, despite his chronic disease.

But I really hope that he'll make it to heaven.
I believe so. Have been praying for him alot. =)
I wonder how it's like for him when he enters heaven, haha.

He's really like a little brother to me.
And I'm positive I'll see him through eternity as well.




Phew, this past week has practically been a terror to me.
I knew that the change in my character will have its positives and negatives.

I've been through the advantages.
But I've finally experienced the downfall of it all.

On the flip side of the coin, I'm saved from my trauma.
Saturday really is the time of the week I release everything and start afresh.
And it's about time I did.

Goodnight

You left me hanging from a thread
We once were from together
I lick my wounds but I can
Never see them getting better
Something's gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

Her hair was pressed against her face
Her eyes were ran with anger
Enraged by things unsaid
And empty beds and bad behavior
Something's gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I'm sorry, I did not mean
To hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight,
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right
Whoa, oh

The room was silent as we
All tried so hard to remember
The way it feels to be alive
The day that he first met her
Something's gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

You make me think of someone wonderful
But I can't place her
I wake up every morning
Wishing one more time to face her
Something's gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I'm sorry, I did not mean
To hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, ...
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right

So much to love
So much to learn
But I won't be there to teach you, oh
I know I can be closed
But I'll try my best to reach you

I'm so sorry,
I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world

So goodnight.

Break

Things have gotten the better of me.
But now a new phase of my life has begun.


I couldn't let go.
But it's time I made a choice.

I could have leaped forward to seize the chance, but I held back.
I wouldn't say that it was my instincts.
I wouldn't have known what would happen if I made the wrong decision.


The one thing I thought was there slipped away.
Well, it ain't all bad, it could be a good thing if I stay optimistic.

But I'm frequently obstinate to change.
I just have to accept it.
"Let not my decisions, but your will be done on earth as it is on heaven."


Just let nature take its course.
Everything's gonna be alright.
I'm sure of it.
Guide me.

Emission

Your light shall overcome the darkness in me


School's been a chore for me, and it sure was for the majority of the student population.

Long hours of tutorials, extra lessons, endless lectures, increased consultations, repeating notes, ceaseless practices, perpetual scolding, sleepless nights, more wake up calls during class.


I ought to earn my straight As to make this time worth while.



In view of my upcoming torture of consistent bombardment of stress, I have taken up a new hobby of sketching.
It'll be my new anti-stress method.



Portrait of Danial.
It ain't that nice but I'm working on it.

Dance inside

I plan to study more this semester
I'm going to make up for my failures.

I'm working on my straight As. =)



Psalms 23:1-4
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside still waters.
He rests my soul,
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For You are with me,
Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.

W.A.N.T

Majority of the world's population aren't contented with what they have.
They want more.


A man once went to a minister for counseling.
He was in the midst of a financial collapse.

"I've lost everything," He moaned.


"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you've lost your faith," replied the minister.
"No," the man corrected him, "I haven't lost my faith."


"Well, then I'm sad to hear that you've lost your character."
"I didn't say that," the man answered, "I still have my character."


"Then I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your salvation."
"That's not it, I haven't lost my salvation."



"You have your faith, your character, your salvation. Seems to me," the minister paused for a moment, "that you've lost none of the things that really matter."



Sometimes people do think that they've lost everything.
Nope, they haven't.

Especially those who know the Lord.
Because with Him, we have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

He has so much more things for us to receive compared to what we have lost in the past.

Superman

JonLee, I and a funny smell
He's been an awesome brother for the past ~1.5 years
We even got a secret handshake.



I love my Saturdays.
The best time of the week, just to enter the house of God.
Listening to the Word.
Praising and worshiping Him.

Seems like I get a little wiser and wiser every week.


But trust me, it ain't easy throughout the week.
To keep the same countenance, to have the same attitude, to not repeat your same mistakes the week before.


As my leaders always said,
It is effortless to come to church once every week, and say that you're a changed person.
You tell yourself that you're transformed.
You repent on the sins you've committed in the past week.

But ultimately, you return into your campuses, your un-churched friends, your outer circle of influence a different person.


Some people pretend.
Others say, "But I just can't help it."

But you gotta do something about it.


Pastor always emphasizes that once you leave the service, you leave as a transformed person.
You have replaced your old man with a new man.
You become more spiritual than before.
Stick to it.



Do not let your past life or the influences around you turn you into something ugly.
You are a child of God.
Stand upon your beliefs and let no one despise them.
Instead, you should be the one influencing others positively.


I have experienced it, it's not going to be breeze.
But you have the best problem solver in the universe by your side.
It is not too late to change.



I'm crying out for more and more of you.

Breathe

Slowly, just slowly, I finally saw my weaknesses.
It ain't all of them, but some prominent ones.

I was a lot weaker than I perceived myself to be.



I need You, badly.

Shape my lifestyle.
Give me strength.
Give me courage.
Give me boldness.
Give me faith.
Broaden my capacity.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.


Truely, heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen.

Fast--Forward

I've loved this band since I was Secondary 2.

They produce great music.
They have the stage presence.
They make awesome guitar/bass/drum solos.
They started out small but was able to make it in the music industry.
They play their music with all their heart, body and soul.
The story behind their success is inspirational.


When I watch their MVs or see them on stage, it gives me an indescribable, sensational feeling.
And makes me miss performing on stage too.
Haha





Now I'm running towards you.
I won't stop! I can't be stopped anymore.
...
I haven't given up yet.

I just feel like jumping after hearing this song.





LOL and here's some slapping and drumming during an interval in one of their Shibuya concerts in 2006.
Trust me, everything here was just random playing to hype the crowd while the singers changed into new clothes.

Bigger dreams

I was studying econs and look what I found!!
One of my bigger art works in my stack of notes.




3 more days till the end of my Mid Years.
3 more papers till I'm officially studying for the sake of my A levels and nothing else.


After As, there would be National Service.
Two more years of forgetting my formulas and definitions.


And after that'll be University, 4 MORE years of intense pushing to get my degree for my future job.


That makes a total of 6 and a half more years before I finally settle down and relax from studying.
6 more years and then *poof* I'll be of a ripe old age of 24.

But that won't stop me.
I'll enjoy my youth before 24 while I can.
I am capable of doing so many things during before 20.


I'm looking forward to it.



"For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life."

Nothing gold can stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

-Robert Frost [The Outsiders]

Pollyanna

The fear that lingers..


It's weird that I feel this way from time to time.

"Fear of what?"
Everything.
Mostly about my future goals, aspirations and targets I hope to achieve.


"Am I able to achieve what I plan to achieve?"
"Will I be quick to conform to the hectic routine that is set before my very eyes?"
"What lies behind the uncertainty of my future?"
"Will I be the same person I am now?"


Hmmmmmm...time for an analogy.


Future goals to me, are like seeing stars in the city.
You know they are there, and that you are able to roughly catch a glimpse of them, but soon you're blinded due to light pollution from buildings and street lamps.


We are able to attain our goals and aspirations, only if we focus hard enough on them, and not be deceived by the distractions in our lives.
Some might lose track and say,"It's just too difficult, the lights are too bright for me to see the stars." Hence, we have to rid of those distractions before the ramifications sink in.


"DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM WITH YOU."

"Trust in Him with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall DIRECT YOUR PATHS."



Do not be a pessimist, that will only cause you to lose faith and dwindle your way into darkness.
It may not take just a while for people to be self-motivated, but for me, this is roughly how it works-

Fear turns into doubt, doubt turns into complexity, complexity turns into uncertainty, uncertainty turns into thoughtfullness, thoughtfullness turns into evaluation, evaluation turns into reflection, reflection turns into optimism, optimism turns into decision, decision turns into salvation.


Awesome.
=)


By the way, Saturday was the greatest day so far in the whole of June.
Souls were added into the kingdom.
And it was not because of one, not two, but the complimentary effort of E412 which did it.
I was sincerely blessed and it made me had an overflow of happiness in my spirit.
Our seeds were indeed multiplied, futhermore, it was of good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over in abundance.

Regeneration

Yesterday's Alive! Finale night was great!!

Good job E412 in clinching the most prizes due to our hard work and perseverence.

And thank you E413 for the awesome help you have given us.
We were great last night. =)



The 21 days of June are going to be over soon.
It has been a great 21 days.
Alive! 2008 was all in all an impactful event.
ALOT of fabulous things have happened.
I could say that it has changed me inside out.
It has taught me a whole lot of valuable lessons.
And as John said, it has revealed flaws about myself which I was oblivious to.

I LOVE the June holidays.


The paradox of it all, is that it is NOT over.

There are many things I have yet to experience.
And many more encounters that are coming my way.

I will continue to pray.
I will continue to look to Him the way I did.
I will continue to serve in any way I can.


It is just the beginning.


"A servant is not defined by his/her willingness to serve, but by the quality of service which he/she produces." - Dr Robb Thompson

*Ding-Dong, Doors closing*

Kids don't ever try this in class when you're sleeping.


The library has seemed to have taken a toll on me.
I'm soooooo addicted to visit the library at least once everyday.

It started out as a conducive place to study, but it became an everyday affair.

I'm starting to become like the woman John told me about who unofficially "married" herself to the Berlin Wall because she thought IT was handsome.
She was wall-fetish.

Maybe I am library-fetish.


*snap out of it*



FRUITILITY


I learnt that word pretty late in my life.
I remember in Primary 4, my teacher wrote in my report card:
"Ryan needs to make use of his holidays fruitfully to attain the good results he is aiming for."



It's not about how much time we have that is important.

What matters is how we utilize and employ the time we have to the best of what we got in order to make our future goals a reality.



TIME is an important seed which human beings must treasure.
We must have the knowledge to purposefully sow what I might like to call "time-seeds".
As "farmers", know which ground is suitable to sow this "time-seed" in.
I must say majority of MY "time-seeds" have been sown into the studygrounds.

Don't worry if you have not sown your seeds into good ground.
You still have many many more seeds to start afresh with.

Like I have said, as "farmers" we must plan and have foresight.
"What weather would come in the near future?"
"Will the climate be suitable or ideal for my seeds to germinate?"

Ah-Ha!!
With that knowledge in your hands, anyone will be able to be the leading farmers of the future.
The harvest will indeed be plentiful and rich in quality.
Stop procrastinating and start growing healthy crops for the future NOW.

Thank you

Thank you to everyone for the,


wonderful presents,

sincere wishes,

amazing treats,

awesome fellowship,

late nights out.



This year's birthday was truely different.
A sincere THANKS to everyone who made it so special.

Reminisce

Stars are one of the most beautiful things one can ever see at night.

Especially when Singapore is so polluted with city lights, it is rare for one to fully appreciate the night sky.

I grasp every opportunity I can to get a glimpse of the star-populated sky.


It reminds me of my Secondary school days where we used to sit on the elevated volleyball court watching stars till we were chased out of school.

"Shut your eyes for like 1 minute, after that stare hard enough and you'll be able to see them"

"You see the 3 stars in a row? That's the Orionz belt."


Those were the days. =)

Fly

I dig my toes into the sand.

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.

I lean against the wind,
pretend that I am weightless.


And in this moment I am happy.


Seriously, I wish you were here.

Overflow..

"The greatest man you'll ever meet in your life is the one who holds the key to unlock the future destined for you" - Dr. Robb Thompson

Well, studies have been going smoothly for me.
But I'm still not yet confident that I can get straight As. =D



I woke up one morning feeling kind of blue.

I used to think that mornings aren't my kind of thing.
I used to hate mornings.

"Why should I be waking up so early?"
"What's the use of getting out of bed at 6 for school, when you know you'll only be done with the day by 5?"
"Why must I wake up to study, I'll do it at night."

The pleasant morning for me used to be one which I would get up at 2 or 3.



Why???
Why did I waste my time sleeping from 8 or 9, all the way till the afternoon?
8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2.

6 hours of sleeping.
I could do 3 maths papers in 6 hours.

Some might argue that sleep is essential.
There may be a few who say that sleeping is a productive activity.
Not when you're sleeping 14 or 15 hours everyday.

I need to cultivate a habit of 6 to 8 hours of sleep.
That'll be essential for me.
And I urge people to think likewise as well.

Recent research has shown that people who have the longest lifespan are those who sleep an average of 6 to 7 hours a day.
Scientists used to think it was 8 hours a day.
Well, what do you know, humans adapt to their busy work schedule. =)

I'm the kind of person who needs to take every hour of the day into account.
I will feel down in the dumps if I knew I had wasted my time sleeping or on something else.
Every minute of my life is crucial to my survival.
Hmmmm, probably not to that extent.



I woke up today, feeling kind of new.

[quoted from Angel in Disguise]

The journey of life.

Bumped into a few of my old friends yesterday.
They're about 15-16 now.

Yes, they've changed.
But in a way, they're still the same.
The same old way we used to do things still resides in them.

It reminded me of my former self.
Childish, immature, rowdy, vulgar and disrespectful.
Made me do some self-reflection.


It was like looking into the mirror and only to see yourself, 4-5 years ago.
"Was I like that?"
Yes, I was.
And it looked a whole lot different compared to who I am now.



I've moved on.
I've thrown away my old self and put on a new man.
Forgiven of my past crimes and sins.
I've taken the biggest step of my life.
And have made the biggest decision.
I'm thankful for that.

Hush..

The habit of saying yes to everything lingers inside of my conscience.
Agreeing to requests and giving in to arguements.

I have to stop it.


My time is limited.
Our choices determine our sacrifices.
And the decisions are many.

The consequences are yet to be determined.
But my priorities have to be straight.


Wake up Ryan!

Another Week has gone away

Finally back from Pre-U Sem.
It has been a a tough, stressful and tiring week.
There are many who wished they won't ever experience it again.
I choose to think positive. The whole thing was SUPER-DUPER-ULTRA-MEGA FUN!!

Even though my Seminar Group wasn't the loudest over there, but I felt that they has their fun and the Pre-U Sem had carved something unforgettable in their hearts.
Words cannot express MY unforgettable experience of waking up at 4plus for morning briefing, going hyper during the day with my participants even though they were tired, singing in the bath with all my level 3 mates, slacking at each others room where we'll end up dozing off, catching a grasshopper and causing a din in our hall.
And many many more other stories I can tell.

Well, all I have to say was that the stay in NTU was worth it.
Firstly, thanks to all the teachers who were concerned, caring and took care of us when we were in need.
Thanks to my Level 3 mates, for turning sleeping hours into late night parties. Thanks to my bunk mate Jeremy, for making the stay fun and doing lame stuff together.[you'll see a video later ^^]
Thanks to my cluster A1, for the long debriefs and the talks we had.
But most of all, thanks to my SG, for making Pre-U Seminar an unforgettable one.

Photos I took during Pre U Sem. Photos go in chronological order from the earliest took to the latest. The first few days weren't much of picture taking sessions, there are a few though. It's a pity many other photos were not stored in my phone.

The grasshopper we caught. Hope it's doing well in the bushes. My SG!! Funny people, really! Chew stoning before entering the auditorium for OC. Jem and I crapping around in the toilet.

Sandcastle challenge was on the fourth day.
Cool guys in RED. The casino sandcastle my SG built. [it's an ace of diamonds and a dice] A sports hall. Seminar Group 3~!!

The last day was great, even though we were all dozing off.
Kathleen!! It was great knowing her as a SGL since last year. Grace, who has more than 2 dimples. I always ask bernice if she's alright because she's so fragile!! Shenna!! Hope to see you in school often k? Xin Yi, I have her MI badge. [btw, she was tip-toeing and I was squatting]

This is my SG's Home-Made Music Video.


And the moment many would take home from Pre-U Sem. Enjoy!


I missed Pre-U Seminar and I hope many others did too. And I hope to see my SG around Singapore too, even though we're all from different schools.