nice

Have not been posting for the past two days due to a internet breakdown of my modem.

Either I haven't been paying the bills or it's just against me.

I finally have the pictures we took during road race. Haha

5th Altas HC, proud of you people.

It ain't complete with 2 pairs of slippers.

And recently, the gym has been my frequent visitation place during my free time.

Pictures copyrighted from John.

Thanks to John's cam, footage of my ancient "3-years-ago"

scriptures were caught on tape. And they didn't change it.

Believe it or not? John said I was on a time machine.

"John!!"

Oh yeah, and before I forget, I recently filed a divorce with my ex-wife who claimed that our bed was too small for the both of us to sleep on.

The thing is, she snores every night and drools on the bed.

This is our last photo together before the I signed the divorce papers. [torturous pain I feel every night]

"I can't get to sleep...."

I still have videos I gotta upload. You'll laugh your socks off.

Till then.

Weekend getaways

Sometimes, I'm filled with false dreams and even high hopes.
But I know I can't change the fact of the dicerning truth which lingers in my midst.
I'm just not ready.

Well, the pretense of it all lies in me.
I just have to view life the way it is, and hopefully things will fall into place.


It ain't much of a problem though.
Was just having an emo-moment just now while walking back from tanah. (don't I always do?) =)
I'm happy with the way things are.
I love my life too much to hate it. Thanks to Him.


Great things happened during my fast-paced weekend.

And I love Dr. A.R Brenard's messages.
Had a power-packed time the last two days at service.
His word really got me equipped and actually allowed me to think of tonnes of areas in my life which could be improved.
I remember him preaching and people around me were stoning.
But I was quick to his speech and wrote much down.
My hand hurt, but it was worth it.


Not to mention Saturday's surprise, ATLAS got FIRST for MJC road race 08'!!
Haha, was quite a great deal for us, tears shed by many.
The feeling was spectacular.
Freda was utterly UNGLAM on the phone. =D

*Ring Ring* [~11.00 a.m.]
Ryan: Hello, Freda??
Freda: (previously asleep) Uhhhhh...
Ryan: You sleeping isit?
Freda: Tsk...uhhh..
Ryan: Eh, wake up lehh. You want to hear good news not?
Freda: Tsk..whhatt ghooot neewwsshh? *squeaks*
Ryan: Very good news. =D
Freda: Your boxers isit?
Ryan: -_- No la. We got first for road race!!
Freda: *squeaks even louder* Really?!?
Ryan: Yah la, happy not? You go back sleep okay?
Freda: Mmm. Hehe.

Burning Question for Freda: Why does good news = Ryan's boxers???


GOOD JOB ATLAS, YOU ALL DID YOUR BEST!!
I AM SINCERELY PROUD OF ALL OF YOU, YOU GUYS WERE GREAT.
NICE.


Caught up with our previous captain.
Turned desperate due to hormones having jet-lag. Haha.
And TAN CHEW LONG, stop laughing!!!
Can't you just stop for awhile and let me recuperate from my aching stomach and tensed-up cheeks.

Chew: "Ah Gong, wo men zhe zhia zhai na ni?" (baby accent)
Looking back at what chew and I laughed about seriously made me feel silly at laughing at what we were laughing at.
Hehe. Its okay. =D

Lastly, chay did not accept my recommendation and instead chose to buy cocoa butter from The Body Shop.
You should have bought the rose perfume. =X
Joke of the day by chew: "Why you buy the butter so expensive?You buy at NTUC isn't it cheaper?"
Haha, you can spread the butter all over and eat yourself. =))


Darn, I'm getting drowsy.
Byebyess.



"Let's go to the 18th floor, you must see it" - quoted from John's blog (copyrighted from Ryan)

A better me

I am guilty of committing the same thing twice.

But this time wasn't me alone, it included Brian, Terence and Louis (was Loo a part of it?).

Anyway, it was a bad thing.
I really didn't mean it. Hee =)


Hmmm..I wonder what other people are up to. Like my cg members, or my childhood friends.
It's been busy since school started. Oh well. Random thoughts.

School so far has definitely made a serious impact on me.
It has changed my opinions on studying and twisted my mood inside out.
Before, I had to think twice before studying.
But now, I would just open my books without a hint of hesitation.

I would ponder about my future alot when I'm studying.
How I would complete my A levels, suffer through NS and finally get a degree.
And the journey is still long.
I've got so many years ahead of me before I start working and have a family, raise kids and stuff.

And I'll brainstorm all of the thousand and one things that I may experience during those few years.
It's gonna be tough.
But it's for my future.=)


At least this is not unproductive daydreaming.
It's motivation for me to study. =D

Great.

Thanks for being part of my life.
Thanks for the laughs.
You guys are one bunch of cool friends.
I love you guys.


Today was a fun day, especially when we were playing around with masking tape.
Haha.
Had alot of fluctuations in our hyper-ness.
Chew said that it's probably because of the weather.
LOL.
But we had fun didn't we? =D


I can't wait for cell group meeting.
Even though I'm going for Karen's, but I still miss cgm.

Another weird thing abt me

I like to sing...

When I'm walking back alone at night.
When there's no one in front or behind the pathway I'm travelling.
Where there are no cars zooming past.
When there isn't a sound except for the crickets.
When the stars in the sky seem to be watching.
When there's not even a tinge of colour around me due to night.
When the darkness ahead seems to be bluring due to the contrast of the lights.

Then is when I love to sing.
Especially singing your praise.

the fast and the furious

I have to say, I did some really cool things last night.
Or shall I say, this morning in the wee hours of dawn.

Anyway, I really need to learn how to drive.

This is what happened.

I got on the wheel, started the engine, exerted strength on the clutch, changed the gear to reverse, pulled down the emergency brake, released strength on the clutch and slowly exerted a little strength on the accelerator.

And the car stalled.


Fine, actually the car stalled another two times. Haha.
Not only 100 metres of experimenting and my petrified mates in the car protested for a change in driver.
Well, it was mainly because there was this curious man who kept on glancing at us from a distance and we were worried that he might complain to the traffic police.

No worries.
At least I got to change gears, reverse out of the parking space and travel a few metres forward.
This is what happens when you put a NOOB who has no experience what-so-ever how to drive inside a rented manual KIA automobile.
I'll learn to do better next time.=))


Today was a fruitful day at the gym with John.
Trained alot, but also played alot with his camera at the same time. Haha.



Watch the sequence carefully.

Ouch, that must have been one heck of a knock on my head.

Oh my goodness. My emo twin across the mirror.

May be I do have a split personality.

She's called Jessica.

Action beh-deh.

Sushi Roll - Ryan Stuffing. Where's the wasabi?

Well, at least we had fun. =D

Hungry / Full

My appetite is..............weird.


To put it simply, it fluctuates within the month and causes me great deal of financial losses.
Haha, especially today.

When I was positive that I would be able to consume more food than expected,
it turned out to be the opposite way around.
And indirectly results in me purchasing too much to finish.


This made me speculate in my mind, "Is there a reasonable explanation for this?"
Like a theory or a pattern that follows every month.
And may be if I take note and abide by the sequence, I might save a few bucks.
Nice.

Or is it that it is fluctuating at an inconsistent rate?
I may never know.



Or may be I am just thinking and observing too much.


Okay, veering from the topic, I'm so glad there is finally CGM tomorrow.
Even though it has only been a week, to me it seems like a month's time of wait.
Haha, tomorrow's going to be a rocking good time.

-Extreme Consumerism-

Isn't it undeniable that human beings are designed and shaped to have unlimited wants but lesser needs.
Furthermore, limited resources in the world today render our materialistic wants unattainable.


However, some tend to think otherwise.
There are some who are inclined to obtain more than they deem necessary.
Why would anyone need more than 10 pairs of shoes?
Or besides that, so many different permutations of accesories.


Younger generation consumers prove to have the mentality of being boastful with what they have.
Flaunting their possessions to peers and people around them but also try their best to be subtle in their tracks so as to not be hated by others.
Why do they fall victim to extreme consumerism?
We are living in a world where people are driven to seize the opportunity to be recognized by others.
Hence, in order to do this, adolescent consumers fall prey and allow the fallacy of acknowledgement to occur, especially those who are rich.


On the flip side of the coin, news articles and documentaries show that the resources in the world are depleting.
If the world's consumers continue to allow the deceit of childishness take over, one day, MAY BE one day, our world will indirectly fall into a pit of darkness where we have no choice but to remove those selfish wants from our heads.


Comparing ourselves with others in different countries like Africa.
Unlike us, they are "robbed" of the luxury that we already have on this little red dot.
You will never be able to hear them say things like, "I wish I had a new handphone" or "I hope I get a PSP for my birthday", let alone them not even celebrating their birthdays.
I can't help but to say that we're truely blessed to be a developed country with advanced technology and up-to-date machinery.
Even our government is one of the best. (some might not think so, oh well)


Anyway, I feel that majority of Singapore's population is spoilt with too many cravings.
Excessively demanding for goods and services does not bring you much but a ruined mind-set.
Furthermore, we should not allow ourselves to get spoon-fed by others all the time.


Do not be deluded and easily deceived by earthly materialistic wants.
Appreciate life the way it is, and be happy of the things you have instead of being unsatisfied with the things you don't have.
Of course we can demand for things when the need arises.
But beware not to be embezzled by extreme consumerism.

Laughter is the best Medicine

What an amazing day it was.

Accomplishments of today:

1. Completed 2 Economics essays.

2. Finished up my integration tutorials.

3. Learnt more about Chinese names of countries.

It is truely intriguing how easily I am amused.

As I have said in one of my earlier posts, this is what makes me happy 99.9% of the time.

And the same goes with Chew.

Have you ever had a situation.

Where there is absolutely, I REPEAT "ABSOLUTELY" nothing funny/comical/humorous to laugh about.

But you still do.

Hold on, that's not the end of it.

So the laughter goes on until it reaches a point where it undergoes a transition state.

In this process, you are no longer laughing at what was previously funny, but at each others laughters.

The reaction continues until the end-product is formed - Tired, worn-out, stomach-cramped, cheek-aching, side-splitting people.

And the process is exothermic (refering to energy). It drains ALOT.

I even drew a "Chew & Ryan" laughter curve to illustrate what I mean.

Haha, I'm sorry if it may be a little illegible due to alot of chemistry-knowledge being implanted in the drawing.

I'm pretty sure science students may know what I am trying to illustrate.

Laughed alot today.

Even though it was a little distracting as I was trying my best to do my Econs.

And I'm sorry terence and chay if we didn't talk about anything else rather than "omlets" and "bizy". (if you know what I mean)

Please laugh along the next time we crack jokes alright? =D

Emo-day

Besides the long mundane hours of lassitude(new word I learnt) spent in school,

I managed to have quite a number of experiences today.

First and foremost, to Genevieve.

Thank you for being sincere and true to me.

Everything is going to be alright for us okay?

I have faith that it will.

Anyway, I will regret today for quite some time.

Even now, I feel guilty.

Chewchew, I am terribly sorry for what I did to you today.

I will never do it again.

Be it ants, grasshoppers, spiders, worms, millipedes, scorpions, beetles, flies, butterflies, or any type of "many-legged creatures".

Hope my guilt can go away. *fingers-crossed*

Random picture I found on my com

It's so late and I have yet to complete my tutorials.

Hope I can finish them by tomorrow.

Differences

Was in the HC room today, supposedly meant to do work, but ended up slacking and resting.



I was actually planning to upload a video from my phone.
But it'll result in serious unforseen repercussions.
Hence, I will not cross the line until someone approves of it. (with all your heart)



+Interesting facts of the day+

1. Hamsters / Grasshoppers
2. Sha Gua / General
3. Modern Chinese / Latin
4. Talking to Eeyors / Photography
5. Scardey Cat / Overly-glam princess

Those are just a few differences.
Isn't it intriguing that the two of them are so contrasting yet so similar in ways more than I can imagine.
You'll understand the comparison once you meet them. =))


"But what unites us is much stronger, than what divides us." - Delirious?
Somehow, I remember this phrase from one of their new songs.
[Hope their new album will be released soon]


As I was saying, both of them are similar in ways more than I can imagine.
Well, not only them, but all 7 of us.
That's what actually keeps us together as one Comm.
And I really believe that THIS YEAR, we'll discover many other interesting facts about one another that we will remember for a life-time.
(for example: Phobia of repetitive circular/hexagonal patterns) - JUST KIDDING =P


Good night.

Blessings

It's amazing how fast the weekend can pass by, but I still feel great.
It is not about how much time I have during the weekends to get myself out of stress, but instead how I make use of that limited time and turn it into something fruitful.
Weekends are always fruitful to me.


Went for dinner with Aloy, Jon, Jaz and Phua today.
It feels great catching up with them once in awhile and talking about life's experiences.
John, did you fly to Mars? Haha. I'll make sure you're there next time.



-Vision-

Gal 6:9-10
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially those who are of the household of faith."


Sometimes when life gets the better of you, you tend to lose sight of things.
You take things for granted.
You start to backstab, gossip, have immoral thoughts.
Goodness in your soul disappears as hatred and bitterness sets in.
You become selfish and resentful.

Instead of being a shining light, you become a dim candle flame which will fade in the darkness any moment.

Well, may be what I said was a little exaggerated, but you know what I mean.

However, there are sure to be moments when you are so sick and tired of your commitment to something.
It may be tolerating someone.
Or being in a new class.
What about trying to know your family more?
Or may be trying to correcting the bad habits in your life.

And somehow, you don't see the benefits in doing so.



Question: "If I reap what I sow, then why do I not see the blessings that I have been expecting?"



Do not fret.
Let me specify the term "in due season".

I remember Val saying in one CGM,
Imagine our lives like a road or a maze, and we are journeying forward, but not aware of what is ahead of us.
As for Him,
He is standing on a platform way above us, looking down and watching our every move.
Only He is aware of what lies ahead of us.

He knows our lives more than we know it ourselves, and He knows what's best for us.
He knows when is the right time for the trees in our lives to bear fruit.
So, do not worry, as the blessings will come to you when it is the right time for you to deserve it.



Also, emphasis goes to the phrase "we shall reap if we do not lose heart".
Hence, continue having faith and believe that blessings and even miracles will happen.


And continue to bless others and bring glory to His name.

Blown away

Yesterday, I was listening to the silent rain fall from the clouds above.
It seems like the drops of sadness came crashing violently onto the rocky cement gravel.
But, it was unusually silent.
Not wanting to be heard by others, but deep inside, tears of sorrow are pouring.

Now I finally understand.



FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS is something everyone does not deserve, but something people must do out of GRACE.

Pastor Tan preached something inspiring yesterday, which made me change my perspective of alot of things.
-Life is 10% "what happened" and 90% how we react to it.
-I can never achieve things until I put value on it.
-Clearly establish what I truely value so I can prioritise and respond to my life's experiences.

Of course there was more to it than those three sentences, but I can't list everything down.
However, my soul was brought to peace as pastor was preaching yesterday.
Now, I can really sense the relief that I was longing for.


"Rest assured, for I am with you" - That's what He said.


It is not all about forgiving and forgetting, it is about forgiving and REMEMBERING how He can turn that hurt/misery/depression/bitterness around into something better.




I am FORGIVEN.
And I really want to thank someone alot. Thank you. =)

Annomaly

I'm addicted to Pac-man. Isn't it perculiar for a person like me to get addicted to the weirdess of games in a short period of time?


First, it was sudoku, then rubik's, next was speed stacking, and now, PAC-MAN!!


Haha, but I like this part of me, it allows me to be occupied when I'm bored. Someday, if I ever see those portable "gameboy" kind of device which plays Pac-man I'm sure to buy it.


I realised that I am somehow happier this week.
May be it's because I have more stuff to occupy my schedule and less time to think about bad thoughts.
Or may be it's just that a new term of school changes my thoughts.


Eccentric. May be I really am weird.

SPEED STACKING

This is what I've been up to for the past 2 days. I have only spent around 5 hours learning how to do it, and I am still noob at it.



But no worries, I have uploaded a few videos to show how well I am progressing. =)








Ready, Set, Go!! (not for the faint-hearted)


First take of the day.....

Well, things do not go as smoothly as planned. Kinda screwed up at the final moment when I supposed to keep the cups. You don't see much of these home-made videos because 1.It is difficult to learn how to stack and keep the table from wobbling AND 2.It is even more difficult to film it down as a small percentage of my tries are successful at full speed.

Hence, you don't expect me to just screw up once.....

Nasty. Get ready for number 2. =D

Urgh, look at that face, now you know how I look like when I seriously get pissed. Haha.

Now, that one must have cost me a Helluvah effort. I was doing great, until some point of time where I realised it's over. Sigh. Giving up? NO WAY!!

Haha. Don't you just love it when I get angry but I know I can't do anything about it as getting frustrated over cups will deem me a moron. Hang in there boy, just a few more practices!!

Alright, enough of my repetitive failing, after many COUNTLESS tries (in vain), I managed to complete it!!! (for your information, this is me going at full speed, hence there HAS to be times where I will fail)

If you had noticed, my streak almost ended at 0.09secs into the video. Fortunately I was able to pick the cup up and keep it fom falling. Thought it was over, there's still a last video.

Well, right now my record stands at 15secs and slowly reducing. Hope you all liked the videos and had a good laugh looking at how amusing I can be with the weird hobbies I have. At least this requires less learning time than rubik's. =D

Really have to thank Aloy for introducing me to speed stacking. Hehe.

Oh yeah, and I have to thank my personal barber as well, who charges $2 per trim at MJC track drains. Now I have a cool haircut. =)

Random Thoughts

I know that this is a random thought.

But.....
I miss crane machines.

It's been awhile since I last had my hands on one, spamming my loose change of 1 dollar coins.
But the experience is satisfying.

Well, different people have different opinions on that frustrating and annoying machine.
I don't know about you, but as for me I feel contented to the brim after taking a shot on one of those machines. Even though the thrill of it may be instantaneous and unfulfulling, but I love it. Especially when the soft toy clings on the claws of the metal crane for its dear life and eventually falls into the pit of doom where it becomes mine.

May be these are one of the many unique traits that I have in me. The very fact that I don't mind "wasting" (term used by many people when they are stunned at the amounts I spend) my precious money on something so juvenile to others.



I was listening to "Accidentally in Love" on xinxin's blog and it reminded me of the couple dance.
Recalling how the OGLs were pairing up the guys and the girls, I was really proud of my OGMs because they took the initiative to find their own dance partners. NICE. =D
They were playing games at the atrium today and were not paiseh about it at all. Despite hundreds of other students looking at them as they were obstructing a big pathway. I simply love them. Haha.
And I recently realised that I don't remember the steps for the dance.
I was just merely following the councillors most of the time.


Isn't it weird that when I was in J1, I often wonder how cool J2 life would be.
But now I feel like I'm a few years older instead of just one.
It's amazing how much chasm a year in junior college makes you feel about your age.

However, I just hope I can finish all my work by tomorrow.
And HOPEFULLY I can be a good chem tutor tomorrow during recess. Right WenXin? Haha.

happiness is...

I have been chionging my tutorials and lectures since morning.

Ain't feeling well. Sometimes I feel so sick that I could just throw up.

Ah well, might as well enjoy this feeling while it lasts.
But what's even better is that I should be getting used to it.

Gonna be stuck with this feeling until the end of A levels.



All I have to do is learn how to find the joy in what I am doing right now.
That's what I always do.
That's why I am happy 99.9% of the time. =)

Orientation 1 has officially ended.

Really thank all the OGLs for their commitment and hard work for the past 2 - 3 months? You guys really put in your 100% effort to make Atlas the best house in MJ. =)

I seriously love my OG. Haha. They're really a bunch of unique and amazing people.
It's like when you look at them, you see a group of potential OGLs just ready to take the stage during O2.
Atlas 4, you all are truely the best OG I have ever seen in my 1.1 years in MJ.





I'm fickle minded. Or put it simply, with the pressure pressing in on every side of me, I tend to veer away from what I am meant to purposefully say.
Or am I a coward, too perplexed about what I am about to do or too intimidated about my past.
I'm trying my best and yet after trying to force it out, I'm still running away.

Well, it's time to decide. Soon.

=)

Welcome to Meridian Junior College, your best two OR three years of your life!! Well, that depends on how serious you take your education, year ones. (copyrighted from Daniel a.k.a my "Gaypartner")

This marks the end of the first day of MJC Orientation 2008. I must say that I am truely surprised but proud of how the day turned out. Atlas got first place in terms of amount of points in the scoring system, being on parr with either Triton or Phobos. Good work guys, you guys seriously made an impact today.




I was thinking of something cool today. In this world, every part of it, there would be at least one moment where EVERYONE will be breathing IN at the same time. Hopefully, there will also be a split second where everyone will blink together. [Random thoughts on the bus again]

And then, I started wondering, would there EVER be a moment where everyone would be able to SMILE at the same time. It need not be a long time, even if it was in a period of 0.000000000001 seconds, it would still be great.

Imagine a supersonic satellite which can capture everyone's faces from space.
And at that instant, it captures a picture of everyone in the world.

It would be astonishing, sensational, impressive, magnificent.
There will not be any words to describe it.


But you know that there is no supersonic satellite that captures everyone's faces from space.
However, I know that SOMEONE is there to watch us, every single day of everyones' lives. And only He will know when the time will be if everyone in the world smiles at the same time.

Seems impossible? Well, I believe that it is achievable. Someway, somehow.
He just has to wait, sitting on His throne, just waiting for that split second to arrive.

New year's Resolutions

What a fabulous new year it was!! Spent counting down and chilling with my second family.

And besides all those laughing moments playing around and cam whoring at the playground, it is time for me to do some reflections of last year.

I was talking to XiaoXin and she asked me what I wanted to look forward to in the new year. Haha. Actually i see myself doing a lot of new things this year. As pastor Tan said in the last service of the year, "We should depart from tradition in the previous year and move on to change in the new year."

Of course, everyone urges to be a changed person every once in awhile after overlooking their mistakes in life. But being a changed person does not necessarily being more mature. I feel that this past year has seriously changed my lifestyle inside out and has made me a better person as a whole.


Looking back, there were alot of things about myself that I didn't like. But I know and I know, that ONE YEAR of walking with God has changed my perspective of how I look at things and my character towards my peers and family.

Question: "Ryan, you've said you have changed, but are you satisfied or contented with who you are now?"

I dare say that I prefer who I am now to who I was [or was trying to be] before. However, there are still glitches in me right now which I need to remove. There are still improvements that need to be made. And there are better expectations that are waiting for me in the years to come.


What am I going to experience in the future? What type of person am I going to be? Am I ever going to be the same Ryan that I was before and after? Not even the slightest similarity?

Well, I'm not sure. Some of my long lost friends may not recognise me anymore from who I was before. But those who are by my side, those who I know I can trust, those who are always there for me. They will be there, to watch me grow, day by day, month by month, year by year, and through eternity.



Change is inevitable. INEVITABLE - Impossible to avoid or prevent.


What can we do in order to keep with the flow? Changing constantly is a big thing. You may never be the same person you today than you were yesterday.



Simple, "Cherish, treasure and appreciate".

If we can do these three things, we are on our way to become a better person. Cherish the times and moments that you have with people. Treasure all the memories and tough times you've been through, but persevered and ended up victorious. Appreciate every sacrifice which people do for you, acknowledge their concern and repay their kindness.


Have you been practicing these three simple actions? If not, you should start today, the first day of 2008. Why not start by telling someone how much you appreciate him in your life? Trust me, many blessings would come your way once you learn how to.

What will 2008 be like for you?
It's up to you to decide.