Pollyanna

The fear that lingers..


It's weird that I feel this way from time to time.

"Fear of what?"
Everything.
Mostly about my future goals, aspirations and targets I hope to achieve.


"Am I able to achieve what I plan to achieve?"
"Will I be quick to conform to the hectic routine that is set before my very eyes?"
"What lies behind the uncertainty of my future?"
"Will I be the same person I am now?"


Hmmmmmm...time for an analogy.


Future goals to me, are like seeing stars in the city.
You know they are there, and that you are able to roughly catch a glimpse of them, but soon you're blinded due to light pollution from buildings and street lamps.


We are able to attain our goals and aspirations, only if we focus hard enough on them, and not be deceived by the distractions in our lives.
Some might lose track and say,"It's just too difficult, the lights are too bright for me to see the stars." Hence, we have to rid of those distractions before the ramifications sink in.


"DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM WITH YOU."

"Trust in Him with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall DIRECT YOUR PATHS."



Do not be a pessimist, that will only cause you to lose faith and dwindle your way into darkness.
It may not take just a while for people to be self-motivated, but for me, this is roughly how it works-

Fear turns into doubt, doubt turns into complexity, complexity turns into uncertainty, uncertainty turns into thoughtfullness, thoughtfullness turns into evaluation, evaluation turns into reflection, reflection turns into optimism, optimism turns into decision, decision turns into salvation.


Awesome.
=)


By the way, Saturday was the greatest day so far in the whole of June.
Souls were added into the kingdom.
And it was not because of one, not two, but the complimentary effort of E412 which did it.
I was sincerely blessed and it made me had an overflow of happiness in my spirit.
Our seeds were indeed multiplied, futhermore, it was of good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over in abundance.

Regeneration

Yesterday's Alive! Finale night was great!!

Good job E412 in clinching the most prizes due to our hard work and perseverence.

And thank you E413 for the awesome help you have given us.
We were great last night. =)



The 21 days of June are going to be over soon.
It has been a great 21 days.
Alive! 2008 was all in all an impactful event.
ALOT of fabulous things have happened.
I could say that it has changed me inside out.
It has taught me a whole lot of valuable lessons.
And as John said, it has revealed flaws about myself which I was oblivious to.

I LOVE the June holidays.


The paradox of it all, is that it is NOT over.

There are many things I have yet to experience.
And many more encounters that are coming my way.

I will continue to pray.
I will continue to look to Him the way I did.
I will continue to serve in any way I can.


It is just the beginning.


"A servant is not defined by his/her willingness to serve, but by the quality of service which he/she produces." - Dr Robb Thompson

*Ding-Dong, Doors closing*

Kids don't ever try this in class when you're sleeping.


The library has seemed to have taken a toll on me.
I'm soooooo addicted to visit the library at least once everyday.

It started out as a conducive place to study, but it became an everyday affair.

I'm starting to become like the woman John told me about who unofficially "married" herself to the Berlin Wall because she thought IT was handsome.
She was wall-fetish.

Maybe I am library-fetish.


*snap out of it*



FRUITILITY


I learnt that word pretty late in my life.
I remember in Primary 4, my teacher wrote in my report card:
"Ryan needs to make use of his holidays fruitfully to attain the good results he is aiming for."



It's not about how much time we have that is important.

What matters is how we utilize and employ the time we have to the best of what we got in order to make our future goals a reality.



TIME is an important seed which human beings must treasure.
We must have the knowledge to purposefully sow what I might like to call "time-seeds".
As "farmers", know which ground is suitable to sow this "time-seed" in.
I must say majority of MY "time-seeds" have been sown into the studygrounds.

Don't worry if you have not sown your seeds into good ground.
You still have many many more seeds to start afresh with.

Like I have said, as "farmers" we must plan and have foresight.
"What weather would come in the near future?"
"Will the climate be suitable or ideal for my seeds to germinate?"

Ah-Ha!!
With that knowledge in your hands, anyone will be able to be the leading farmers of the future.
The harvest will indeed be plentiful and rich in quality.
Stop procrastinating and start growing healthy crops for the future NOW.

Thank you

Thank you to everyone for the,


wonderful presents,

sincere wishes,

amazing treats,

awesome fellowship,

late nights out.



This year's birthday was truely different.
A sincere THANKS to everyone who made it so special.

Reminisce

Stars are one of the most beautiful things one can ever see at night.

Especially when Singapore is so polluted with city lights, it is rare for one to fully appreciate the night sky.

I grasp every opportunity I can to get a glimpse of the star-populated sky.


It reminds me of my Secondary school days where we used to sit on the elevated volleyball court watching stars till we were chased out of school.

"Shut your eyes for like 1 minute, after that stare hard enough and you'll be able to see them"

"You see the 3 stars in a row? That's the Orionz belt."


Those were the days. =)

Fly

I dig my toes into the sand.

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.

I lean against the wind,
pretend that I am weightless.


And in this moment I am happy.


Seriously, I wish you were here.

Overflow..

"The greatest man you'll ever meet in your life is the one who holds the key to unlock the future destined for you" - Dr. Robb Thompson

Well, studies have been going smoothly for me.
But I'm still not yet confident that I can get straight As. =D



I woke up one morning feeling kind of blue.

I used to think that mornings aren't my kind of thing.
I used to hate mornings.

"Why should I be waking up so early?"
"What's the use of getting out of bed at 6 for school, when you know you'll only be done with the day by 5?"
"Why must I wake up to study, I'll do it at night."

The pleasant morning for me used to be one which I would get up at 2 or 3.



Why???
Why did I waste my time sleeping from 8 or 9, all the way till the afternoon?
8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2.

6 hours of sleeping.
I could do 3 maths papers in 6 hours.

Some might argue that sleep is essential.
There may be a few who say that sleeping is a productive activity.
Not when you're sleeping 14 or 15 hours everyday.

I need to cultivate a habit of 6 to 8 hours of sleep.
That'll be essential for me.
And I urge people to think likewise as well.

Recent research has shown that people who have the longest lifespan are those who sleep an average of 6 to 7 hours a day.
Scientists used to think it was 8 hours a day.
Well, what do you know, humans adapt to their busy work schedule. =)

I'm the kind of person who needs to take every hour of the day into account.
I will feel down in the dumps if I knew I had wasted my time sleeping or on something else.
Every minute of my life is crucial to my survival.
Hmmmm, probably not to that extent.



I woke up today, feeling kind of new.

[quoted from Angel in Disguise]

The journey of life.

Bumped into a few of my old friends yesterday.
They're about 15-16 now.

Yes, they've changed.
But in a way, they're still the same.
The same old way we used to do things still resides in them.

It reminded me of my former self.
Childish, immature, rowdy, vulgar and disrespectful.
Made me do some self-reflection.


It was like looking into the mirror and only to see yourself, 4-5 years ago.
"Was I like that?"
Yes, I was.
And it looked a whole lot different compared to who I am now.



I've moved on.
I've thrown away my old self and put on a new man.
Forgiven of my past crimes and sins.
I've taken the biggest step of my life.
And have made the biggest decision.
I'm thankful for that.

Hush..

The habit of saying yes to everything lingers inside of my conscience.
Agreeing to requests and giving in to arguements.

I have to stop it.


My time is limited.
Our choices determine our sacrifices.
And the decisions are many.

The consequences are yet to be determined.
But my priorities have to be straight.


Wake up Ryan!

Another Week has gone away

Finally back from Pre-U Sem.
It has been a a tough, stressful and tiring week.
There are many who wished they won't ever experience it again.
I choose to think positive. The whole thing was SUPER-DUPER-ULTRA-MEGA FUN!!

Even though my Seminar Group wasn't the loudest over there, but I felt that they has their fun and the Pre-U Sem had carved something unforgettable in their hearts.
Words cannot express MY unforgettable experience of waking up at 4plus for morning briefing, going hyper during the day with my participants even though they were tired, singing in the bath with all my level 3 mates, slacking at each others room where we'll end up dozing off, catching a grasshopper and causing a din in our hall.
And many many more other stories I can tell.

Well, all I have to say was that the stay in NTU was worth it.
Firstly, thanks to all the teachers who were concerned, caring and took care of us when we were in need.
Thanks to my Level 3 mates, for turning sleeping hours into late night parties. Thanks to my bunk mate Jeremy, for making the stay fun and doing lame stuff together.[you'll see a video later ^^]
Thanks to my cluster A1, for the long debriefs and the talks we had.
But most of all, thanks to my SG, for making Pre-U Seminar an unforgettable one.

Photos I took during Pre U Sem. Photos go in chronological order from the earliest took to the latest. The first few days weren't much of picture taking sessions, there are a few though. It's a pity many other photos were not stored in my phone.

The grasshopper we caught. Hope it's doing well in the bushes. My SG!! Funny people, really! Chew stoning before entering the auditorium for OC. Jem and I crapping around in the toilet.

Sandcastle challenge was on the fourth day.
Cool guys in RED. The casino sandcastle my SG built. [it's an ace of diamonds and a dice] A sports hall. Seminar Group 3~!!

The last day was great, even though we were all dozing off.
Kathleen!! It was great knowing her as a SGL since last year. Grace, who has more than 2 dimples. I always ask bernice if she's alright because she's so fragile!! Shenna!! Hope to see you in school often k? Xin Yi, I have her MI badge. [btw, she was tip-toeing and I was squatting]

This is my SG's Home-Made Music Video.


And the moment many would take home from Pre-U Sem. Enjoy!


I missed Pre-U Seminar and I hope many others did too. And I hope to see my SG around Singapore too, even though we're all from different schools.