as simple as this

Re-link

2009-06-28T01:33:00.002+08:00

From today onwards...

steadypompiipii is shifted to
http://boosterbug.blogspot.com

See you there!

Demi

2009-04-25T11:35:00.002+08:00

I'm back after spending two weeks of confinement in the best island in the East.

There's a fine line separating the likes of the world and Christ-likeness.
One moment on a weekend you could be sitting in the front row of church and the next a with a second face anywhere else.

Double-mindedness.

Being a bridge between people and the most High isn't a walk in the park.

A bridge requires Stability, Strength and Balance.
It takes longer to build a bridge that can hold more people.

Yes, both sides must be equally leveled and firmly joint to both ends, yet a bridge must not waver to one side alone.

It's tough.

But to choose to stand in between the gap, between life and death, is what we're sent for.
We don't go straight to heaven for a crucial purpose-
To "transport" people over to the other side.

One soul at a time.

Hyatt

2009-03-29T23:26:00.001+08:00

Back from a fantastic and AWESOME HK trip!
Got so many funny stories which probably only Jon and I would understand.

Paris in 2 years time man!! =D

Lao Po Bing!!

2009-03-22T00:24:00.003+08:00

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go.

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane.
But I'll be coming back on Wednesday.

You can still message me as I think it'll be the same cost, but I can't reply because it's expensive.
I'll reply on email as soon as I can though.

HK here I come!!
Look forward to souvenirs alright? But while stocks last!

Be back ~10.50p.m. on Wednesday! =D

Flame of Friendship

2009-03-17T00:35:00.004+08:00

My band and I were at my house one day and we decided to write a song.
It's simple and it was worth a shot.
I had to take a blank video of my recording because i failed to upload the file.
I would love to hear comments and opinions. =)

Ember (The Flame of Friendship) - 3rd Floor Landing

You and I we, started as friends.
You and I both, made our stand.
Oh history, history.

As we look back to our past,
I can see the footprints, (they never last)
They never last.

You said,
You'll always treasure the times we shared.
But now, your heart seems to lost its flare.
Where are you now? (I missed you)
You're burning out, you're burning out.

All the things I knew about you,
Were they all true, yeah.
All the days I waited for you,
Where were you?

As we look back to our past,
I can see the footprints, (they never last)
They never last.

You said,
You'll always treasure the times we shared.
But now, your heart seems to lost its flare.
Where are you now? (I missed you)
You're burning out, you're burning out.

If we could go back, erase the past.
Just maybe, maybe, we could last.

And now,
We're back to how we used to be best friends.
I hope our friendship has an happy end.
Let's make amends. (I'm here for you)
The flame burns on, we're burning on.

Jet plane

2009-03-15T23:12:00.003+08:00

One more week to Hong Kong.
What an exciting trip it's going to be!^^

Jon and I already have the shopping routes and the Hot Spots planned out weeks ago.

Looking forward to it. =)

Watered

2009-03-06T23:12:00.002+08:00

We give.
We let go.
We sacrifice.

However, sometimes we wonder, where is the blessing going to come?

"Whatever you sow, you shall surely reap."
But where is the harvest?

I have sown bountifully, but when is it going to come?
People have reaped their fruits of giving, when's mine going to appear?

We wait, and we wait and we wait.
But we don't see the harvest, and we lose our faith.

I have gave.
I have let go.
I have sacrificed.

But my blessing didn't come shortly.

Instead, I continued to give although I didn't see any blessing.

And now, after months of sowing and praying, I see the harvest.
Not of the same measure, but multiplied to extents even I can't explain.
He gave in abundance, as He promised.

Praise Him!

Cooped up

2009-03-01T23:30:00.002+08:00

Good Morning!!
It has been a long time since I've blogged.
Have been busy with stuff.^^

I just saw this on Youtube. It's mega-awesome!
One of the many reasons why I love kids.

Inspire

2009-02-19T23:11:00.003+08:00

People say Life isn't that fair.
We want to prosper financially, but it's tough.

What must I do in order to earn more than I can spend?
How many years must it take to achieve financial freedom?
For many, it's almost impossible.

When the opportunity comes, strike.
Don't wait for others to do the same before you start.
Be the pioneers.

I want to be in the state, where as I'm spending on my daily necessities and durable goods, I will still find that I'm still making money.
And with the extra income, I want to bless others.
Help them gain independence of their own financial status and not just buying them what they need.
Teaching them how to fish instead of giving them a fish.

How much can my future self earn per month?
$3,000? $5,000? $10,000?
Only He knows.

I cannot water others unless I have been watered first.
I want to bless others tremendously.
Create smiles on people's faces.
But in a way, also teaching them to take hold of their lives and be successful.

That will be my future job.

Escape

2009-02-16T01:19:00.002+08:00

There were times, when I just wanted to be in my own world, own space, without a care for the people and things around me.
"There are too much problems to settle."
"This is not the way things are supposed to be like."
"Why am I not successful?"

We ask these questions, and we refuse to face the facts in life.

Life isn't easy.
Life has it's own share of difficulties.
And it gets even more complicated as we get older.

We are given more responsibilities.
Burdens of family and friends share the weight on our shoulders.
Tasks and deadlines are thrown at us at a constant pace.
Stress builds up and we fall apart.

We "escape" into a world where we feel that none of it has happened.
And we fade into a trap which pulls us deeper and deeper into itself.

But we are meant to conquer and take dominion over our lives.
We have the authority and ability to control what happens to us.
Our feelings, emotions, thoughts all can be controlled by us.

Ignorance will aggravate our problems and make them more severe.
Falling mindlessly out of reality will only make life worse as we fail to find the solutions.
We fail to face the fear of failure.

Courage is not defined as having no fear at all.
Instead, courage is defined as the ability to have the faith and strength to face fear even though it may be difficult.

Yes, the walls may be difficult to break down, the mountains may be too hard to climb.
Situations may be out of hand, relationships may be falling apart.

But have the courage.
Courage to look at the future and say, "It will work out fine."

Stop trying to escape reality.
Bear the courage.
Face your fears.

Rockerfield

2009-02-09T22:56:00.003+08:00

A good performance requires both skill and experience.
It requires practice, tonnes of it.
But most of all, a good performance is due solely on the unity and friendship of the performers.
My best shows were made the best because I had fun.
It doesn't matter if we weren't the most skilled.
We made it the best because we saw it as the best.
The time spent practising and repeating my parts in songs.
The late nights we had jamming after school at Potong Pasir due to our busy schedule.
The long hours perfecting our songs under the void decks in Pasir Ris.
The many moments we shared chilling out at each others houses.
The countless accidents we have had(including my burnt wrist), which did not stop us from putting up a good performance.
It was all worth it, when we stepped on stage and gave it our all.

Through all my experience, I've learned one important thing.
Talents that we have never give us first-hand glory.
We are just vessels.
He created the talents and granted us gifts for reasons.
And they were meant to glorify Him.
My talents? No.
They're not mine, they're His.

Take them, anoint them, multiply them, use them, through me.

Timeline of Eternity

2009-01-27T12:11:00.002+08:00

I was taking this picture alone. Don't know how the other two figures got there. xD

Dreams and Visions are one of life's beauties.
You attain one, and you aim for it.
No matter how tough the journey gets, you'll fight for it.
And with all the sweat and blood at the end of the finish line, you say to yourself, "Good job."
And you're fulfilled.

I'm not saying that we should have only one vision.
Multiple dreams are important.
They help us carry on with life's struggles and motivates us.
They push us to our limits, yet not breaking us.
For we know that the reward at the end is worth the pain.

We overcome our fears, overstep our boundaries, outweigh our weaknesses. Why?
Purely because we want to see our imagination become a reality.

But we have to catch the visions given to us, hold on to them and never let any get pass you.
Just like a goalkeeper in a soccer match.
The shots may be difficult to grasp.
Some seem impossible to save.
Some may be flying towards you without a warning.
Some may look undesirable even if you were prepared.

However, with our own two hands, JUST by our two hands,
We Can Do Wonders.

Usually, when a striker scores, the whole stadium and audience at home will cheer for that one goal.
But seldom do goalkeepers get praise for their saves.

But there is One person who is standing at the sidelines cheering you on for every goal you save.
And He is proud to see you on the field, just like a Father to His son.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!!

And just for the record, my teacher tagged this Secondary 2 photo on my Facebook.
Guess where I am. =D

Clue: I'm the one with the weird hairstyle. (What I call an "Inverted Duck-tail")

Knock

2009-01-24T21:42:00.004+08:00

Me and Jonzah

"I'll put them back when I come home from gaming."

It was the second day of CNY 2002.
12 year old Ryan has just received 300 dollars worth of red packets.

"Dropping by at home will be too troublesome, I will keep them until I have finished. Don't worry Mom, I won't lose them."

During lunch, he receives a call from his mother.
"Ryan, why don't you come back home first and I'll drop you at Bedok after you have kept your money."

"Mom, I already told you it's alright, it will only waste your time and the car's petrol."

Off he goes, to his favourite LAN shop in Bedok with his childhood friends.

"Ryan, why didn't you keep your money before coming out like me?"

"It's okay, I will definitely not lose it. What's with you and Mom? Don't you guys trust me?"

"I'm just being concerned as a brother. But if you lose the money, I'm not responsible for it."

Two hours of gaming has passed.

"Hey Ryan, let's play for another hour, I'll look after your stuff while you go pay for us."
Ryan reaches out to his left in search for his yellow haversack.

Nothing.

He looks down, he remembered placing his bag next to his chair on the left.
Furthermore, his handphone, $75 jacket and money from the red packets were all inside of it.

-A true story

Stubbornness.
Failure of listening to people with the correct advise.

The 12 year old Ryan needed a severe wake-up call before he learnt his lesson.
At that time, losing a total of 500 dollars of belongings was his wake-up call.
It was heart-breaking to him.

I have procrastinated long enough.
I am done shutting my ears.
I will listen, and act upon it.

I have had my wake-up call.
Time to stop procrastinating.

Breakthrough, breakthrough.

Miles away

2009-01-20T00:55:00.002+08:00

Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line.
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find.
While I recall all the words you spoke to me,
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah.

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away.
We all need that person who can be true to you,
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed.
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no.
Once again.

There's nothing here for me on this barren road.
There's no one here while the city sleeps,
and all the shops are closed.
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you.
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah.

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away.
We all need that person who can be true to you,
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed.
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no.
Once again.

Some search, never finding a way.
Before long, they waste away.
I found you, something told me to stay.
I gave in, to selfish ways.
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade.

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line.
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find.
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away.
We all need that person who can be true to you,
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed.
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no.
Once again.

Random Stuff

2009-01-13T23:51:00.003+08:00

I can't sleep.
For once I can't sleep.
I have work tomorrow morning, but I still can't get to sleep.

Me teaching Aaron Praise songs.

This week was full of Deja Vu's.
Revealed to me the life I used to have, but in a way introduced peace into my heart.

I did some reflection, all the way back from when I started as a J1 student.

And this is what's so great about past experiences.
They help you gain a sense of relief that you have arrived to where you are now from where you WERE.
And as the saying goes, the destination is nothing compared to the journey there.

"You will know that you have matured, even the slightest bit, when you can look at yourself in the past and laugh at how you were then." - quote from a wise man.

All I know is that I'm happy to be where I am right now.

Unafraid of what's ahead, because You were already there before AND after.

How you doin?

2009-01-11T23:34:00.002+08:00

I just love how Joey makes you laugh.
His favourite pick up line - "How you doin?"

And Joey's funnier with Chandler around.

Guesstures

2009-01-08T22:47:00.002+08:00

Main Course.
Dessert
Chef + Assistant at work.

"Good morning/afternoon Sir/Ma'am, my name is Ryan and I am calling on behalf of my manager representing AIA. May I speak to the person in charge of your company's employee benefits?"

I had to repeat this paragraph over and over again as I dialed the numbers in the phone book. Telemarketing is a tough job.

I'm starting to miss my KFC days. At least there was social interaction with the customers.

Praying for a new and reasonable job.

Cabonara

2009-01-05T00:24:00.002+08:00

2008 has been a tremendous time of transformation.
With ups and downs.
Breaks, tears, heart-aches and crashes.
But also a time of repentance, acceptance and perseverance.
Struggled through the storms, we have, and we have emerged victorious.

Now, let us usher in 2009 with a better attitude as last year.

We are blessed with gifts, talents and wonderful abilities.
And we are told to use them.
He wants to "show us off" to people around us.
Let our light shine before the world, that they may see our works and acknowledge the One who gives us the gifts and talents.

We are meant to be creative.
We are meant to create, innovate and inspire.

Everyone has their own unique talent.
Won't it be a waste if we don't use it to bless others or we use it for the wrong reasons?

It is perfectly alright if your talent isn't that great.
A small and common talent like drawing could one day make you a Leonardo Da Vinci.
Do not despise small beginnings.
No eye seen, nor ear heard. He has bigger plans.
Much bigger plans.

Let 2009 be the year we DEVELOP and IMPROVE our gifts and talents.
A good use of one's talents may even brighten up someone's day.(Yes, you did)

Just think today, what are you good at?
Anything which makes you who you are.

Who knows? You and I could be a major blessing to others.

Warmth

2008-12-26T20:32:00.002+08:00

It was a bustling, season-greeting Christmas Eve.
Billy put on his jacket, ready to have a night of his life.
Once in a year does this sensational feeling take its toll in his life.
And it wears off once the season is over.
He has just graduated from high school.
Better make the best of the last hours of holiday.

It was a lonely, dark Christmas Eve.
Kevin tried his hardest to wrap himself with his thin, ragged sheet of plastic.
It is the same year after year.
A continuous cycle of survival in the winter during the darkest night of the year.
This twelve year old has never met his birth parents.
All he wishes, is for the cold winter season to end.

The streets were jam-packed with pedestrians.
The side-walks were decorated with lights and music was in the air.
People carrying the Christmas spirit were dancing and mingling, as they counted down to midnight.

Kevin, in his isolated corner amongst the slumps, mustered enough courage to take a peep into the streets.
He grimaced with disgust.
"What is this Christmas?" He thought,"It's just a foolish time of disturbance to me."
He turned his back against the wall that separated the slumps and the city, closing his eyes in irritation.
Nevertheless, he was tempted to take short glimpses out into the streets, envying the happiness that he saw in the people.

"Sorry, I'm late!"
A cheerful, smart looking teenager arrived into Kevin's field of vision.
Gasping for air, he still wore a joyful smile as he greeted his friends.
"You're lucky you're in time for the countdown!" said one of his friends.
Kevin glanced at the clock located at the highest building in Meville Square, it was 20 seconds to midnight.

The countdown began.

20!..19!..18!..
People were staring intensely at the movement of the clock's hands, screaming as the numbers being shouted descended.

14!..13!..12!..
Kevin held the cracks of the wall, sticking half of his body out to get a better view.

10!..9!..8!..
The shouting of the crowd heightened.

5!..4!..3!..2!..1!..
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Within seconds, friends started shaking hands, wishing each other.
Couples and relatives hugged and exchanged kisses.
Even strangers who have met began to smile and greet one another.

Kevin managed to catch the smart looking teenager and his friends exchanging gifts.
Presents, nicely wrapped up in gold foil and perfected with a red ribbon on top.

A warm feeling manifested inside of Kevin.
He wanted to be part of it.
He wanted to feel the happiness everyone felt.
He wanted to know what is Christmas really like.
In the midst of his flow of thoughts, he was interrupted by a gentle and kind voice.

"Hey little kid, why aren't you out here with everyone of us?"
Kevin looked up, and saw a tall figure, leaning against the wall he was looking out from.
The person crouched down and gave a smile of assurance to Kevin.

"I'm Billy, nice to meet you!"

Precariously, Kevin stuck his head out nearer to Billy, observing him.
"Oh, wait!"
Billy placed his hand into his sling bag, as if in search of something important.
He took out a small, transparent box tied up with a ribbon, and slowly lowered it in front of Kevin's chest.
"Here, it's for you, I baked it this morning."

Stretching his hands out, Kevin received the gingerbread man cookie.
Holding it with his malnourished fingers, he looked up again to Billy.
Clad in unwanted pieces of clothing, no shoes and sheltered from the cold only by a plastic sheet.
Once again, Billy smiled at him.
He took off his jacket, wrapped it around Kevin and patted his head thrice before saying the words that now meant a lot to the boy, "Merry Christmas kid!"

Cold tears fell down the cheeks of the twelve year old.
But his heart was filled with comfort and warmth.
He had finally experienced the love and the true meaning of Christmas.

There are many, just like Kevin, whom have yet felt the Christmas spirit.
Looking for love and grace, but no one to celebrate with during the festive season.
All they need, is just a small act of kindness from those who are already blessed.
Even if they are strangers.
It can make a difference.

Go!

2008-12-21T13:49:00.000+08:00

My absence for the past week is due to a mass mahjong spree every night(or shall I say morning) from Tuesday.

I need to be cured from my sunburn. Random comment. =]

Woots.

Surface

2008-12-10T21:06:00.004+08:00

Enjoy. =)

All panels were done using Microsoft Paint.
Things I come up with when I'm bored.

---------------------------------------------------------

As time passes, the things I learn also become more and more valuable.
Things that I will remember for a lifetime.
Lessons that I will carry and teach my kids and students.
From generation to generation.

But the best has yet to come.
There are still greater things to be done.
Not by us.
But by future heroes and heroines of the next era.

Still, we press on and improve.
What we are in this time affects how much we impart into the next generation.

There will definitely be a time to pass on the baton.
For now, let's keep the grip on the baton strong and run our race.
I will keep on improving.

Booster-bug

2008-12-07T23:54:00.003+08:00

Stole this from Jon's blog
A fragment of the infinite memories that I have from the term called "Brotherhood"

Relationships come and go, but Brotherhood stays and grows.

And my new phrase:
"You may be recession-proof, but you will never be Ryan-proof"
(and I'll give you a nice big hug)

Ouch!

2008-12-03T16:07:00.002+08:00

Spiderman needs a break from being a hero once in awhile

Carelessly burnt my hand with boiling water yesterday.
(Even a superhero can get injured by burns)=]
I need to heal fast, so I can play my guitar for Prom tomorrow.

"By His stripes, I am HEALED."
Confess, Believe, Experience, then Testify.
He is the ultimate Superhero.

Scratch

2008-11-30T21:20:00.003+08:00

(Expression of my feelings after I saw this photo again after a few months)

"Good luck, do a good job," said the previous performers.
They were stunning.
With the exchange of handshakes, they walked backstage and the curtains drew in.

It's our turn to put up a great show.
We walked out stage, dragging our guitar cables and making our ways to our respective stations.

The crowd, oblivious of our preparation behind the curtains, were still cheering their lungs out.
Trying to decipher the muffled voices out in the arena, distinct screams and shouts could be heard.
Some were demanding for an encore, many were screaming for the bands that have not performed yet.

And in the faint sounds of intertwining voices, I could hear some people shouting the name of my band...

At that moment, my heart started to pulsate even quicker than it was.
My mind raced with mixed feelings.
My fingers, meant for holding the strings of my guitar, went numb.
Goosbumps started to appear from the tip of my forehead to the soles of my feet.
Trickles of perspiration dripped down the sides of my cheeks.

It was then, when the curtains of destiny started to inveil.
At first, I received a blinding sensation due to the striking lights of the stage.
And slowly, just slowly, it disintegrated into a dark floor area, packed with jumping spectators.
The screams and cheering intensified.
The audience became excited.
They were ready.

This was it, the moment of my guitar "career".
The audience came for a great show, and we're going to give it to them.

I turned to my band members, only to see them smiling with satisfaction at each other.
"Let's do this," I said.

And with that, we rocked the house down and created history.
It was a moment in my life which will take alot of memory loss to forget.
The feeling of putting on a great show --> priceless

(p.s. I'm sorry if it sounded too exaggerated)

Back

2008-11-28T18:51:00.005+08:00

Ta-da-i-ma!!
I'm back from Osaka, and I'm beginning to hate the weather in Singapore.
(I used to run several 100 metres without even breaking a drop of perspiration)

Didn't get a chance to take many photos, but I got a few shots which could possibly differentiate Japan from Singapore.

You thought Yoshinoya in Singapore was awesome, take a look at Yoshinoya in Osaka.
An illustration of a typical street outlet, with food which taste as good as first class restaurants.

This, is my favourite shop in Osaka. Cheap, but definitely worth it.

Hello Kitty Heaven. ^^

This, people is the BEST Katsu-Don I've ever tasted in my 18 years of living.
-On the left is the fresh and fragrant steamed rice, which makes up 1/3 of the meal's cost.(Note that rice in Osaka costs 5 times more than in Singapore)
-On the right is a hot plate, containing a tender and succulent deep fried Katsu, cooked with onions and a half-raw egg.
-And on top of that, there is a free-flow of ice cold green tea.(also present in every food outlet)

The Apples tasted great! and are two times the size of apples in Singapore.

Train station on the way to "Universal Studios", where I sat on the BEST roller coaster I've ever took. =D

Me and Miss Hello Kitty.

Hotel view. Could see students walk to school at 7am and walk back home around 5pm everyday from this window.

On the plane back to Singapore.

If you have noticed, I have mentioned 2 "BEST" moments in my life during the trip to Osaka.
I must say it was a worthwhile trip, although it was only for a mere 4 days.
Hope I didn't gain weight after eating so much.=)

Ja-pan

2008-11-25T00:17:00.003+08:00

Heyheyhey,

I'll be off to the friendly and ever so incentric city of Osaka tonight and will be back roughly by 6-7pm on Friday.
Will be eager to see the type of culture present there.=D

Till then,
Sa-yo-na-ra
I-te-ki-ma-su.

Re-create

2008-11-22T09:59:00.002+08:00

Our minds,
are not shaped by the things that we think.
But are nurtured by our environments.

What we think with our minds everyday, how we view things with optimism or pessimism and the way we evaluate things, our life-experiences hold a big responsibility in affecting them.
It's beneficial to start out right.
Without the right foot forward, we will veer away from the course into becoming a positive-thinker.
However, it's also not too late in life to reconsider and decide to make a change.

+P+O+S+I+T+I+V+E+

The past few days have been plainly phenomenal.
And I know it's just going to get better and better.

Till then, Adios.

Memories of You

2008-11-15T11:29:00.004+08:00

Humans forget.
Our brain will reach a time where it's capacity will be limited to memories which we wished were more meaningful.

But, while we can still hold on to what's dear to us in our lives, please do.
Remember fond memories, is to reminisce.
But to recall unfortunate times, is regretting.

Every single person, every single significant event, I will do my best to keep them in my memory.
It's sad to forget.
Because it's the person you forget that will experience the greatest pain.
Knowing that someone dear to you has forgotten who you are.

I can imagine myself seeing people, seeing someone, anyone in my memory.
Just facing one another face to face.
And laughing about all the special times we had.
About the way we were before and how we've changed.
No words can explain how awesome it feels.

Memories changes lives.
Reminisce and don't regret.
Don't forget.

[The song that's playing]

Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt one year six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I can not forget

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

I can tell that you don't know me anymore
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

So many nights, legs tangled tight
Wrap me up in a dream with you
Close up these eyes, try not to cry
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that we can share
Falling into memories of you and things we used to do

-Yellowcard- One Year, Six Months

The other Side.

2008-11-02T20:56:00.003+08:00

I'm going on hiatus for two weeks or so.
Going to be mugging for my upcoming papers.
Can't wait for them to be over.

Here's a bedtime story for A levelers. Enjoy.

He, is an adventurer.
After a plane crash, was stuck on Meridian island.(did I make it seem so bad)
An island, unknown to him, foreign at every glance, and definitely not desirable.

He, ain't Indiana Jones nor Captain Jack Sparrow.
He, doesn't have powers like Superman, nor gadgets like Batman, nor a rich-kid suit like Ironman.

He, needs to get out of this island.
By any means possible, he will find a way out.
This, is his destiny.

He is...The JC Student.

He has already ventured passed the oceans and made it through the dense forest.
Our courageous adventurer sees a tinge of light coming from the end of the cave.
Could this be the hope that he was looking for?
Is this the end of the torment and trauma?
Could this indicate the end of his 2 year torture on the island?

With all the strength that's left of him, he crawls through the small opening out of the cave.
But his smile transformed into a frown immediately after he got out.

Why??

He saw a bridge.
Not an ordinary bridge.
A dangerous, rocky and unstable bridge.

There are wooden planks.
Planks that creak the moment our brave adventurer sets foot on them.
But he doesn't give up.

Because, across the bridge, there is something worth dying for, something worth risking your all for, something which meant everything to any adventurer who went through the two years of torture.

F-R-E-E-D-O-M

Now, all that our heroic adventurer has got to do is to cross this bridge.
And the power-packed action movie will be over.
(that's supposed to be a sad thing but, oh wells)

Each step our mighty adventurer takes on the life-risking, heart-stopping bridge, he makes sure he doesn't panic.
One wrong move and the wooden plank he's stepping on will collapse.
He hangs on to the rope he's holding when he trips and falls, because it's not over till he has crossed over to the other side.
"Don't fall now," he tells himself. "I ain't gonna let the current sweep me away."
He'll make it.

Dear adventurers who have suffered in torment for the past two years and are eagerly crossing the bridge to freedom,
We're THIS CLOSE to the end of the journey.
We'll make it.
To the other side.

Osmosis

2008-11-02T09:47:00.003+08:00

Late night fridays at Val's
Will miss you guys
Friends?Nahh..Brothers=D

Officially multiplied 2 days back.
How time really flew since I started out 2 years ago.
We were just 9, in no time, we were 27 and getting ready to split.

I've seen characters change for the better.
Attitudes improve.
Seen the best in people like I've never seen before.
We unleashed our potential.
Soared into greater heights.
We placed what was first in our lives.
Sacrificed our all for the greater good.
And what's the result?

Quality + Quantity = Multiplication + Rising up of leaders

We're going to go for it again and again.
We're going to grow more and more.
Who knows how many cell groups and CGLs we're going to have in the future?
Or even ZSs and Pastors?

It's going to be an exciting journey, can't wait for it to unfold.

For greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done HERE and NOW.

Showcase

2008-10-29T22:49:00.001+08:00

I just love how they do it.
World's best bartenders and cocktail flairers.

><

2008-10-27T23:10:00.002+08:00

There's seriously SOOOOO many things I want to learn and looking forward to after A levels.
It's going to be tremendously exciting.
I can't wait.

Realization

2008-10-20T20:17:00.003+08:00

She sat there, on the ledge, savouring the tingling breeze as it swept past her toes in mid-air.
Why was she here?
How many times has it been?

Closing her eyes as she tilted her head towards the dark, haunting sky.
She numbered the stars one by one, each with a reason for being there.
With every star, the hurt inside her seemed to exacerbate even more.

Filled with angish, she clenched her heart as forceful as she could, longing for the pain to diminish.
But with every thought of it, the hurt became even more excruciating.

From top to toe, by just looking at her, one could recognize the weightage of her frustration.
Disheveled hair, dark eye rings from sleepless nights, biting lips and scars on her arms and legs from penknives.

Was it over?
What can compare to what this girl has been through?

She stood up.
Her malnourished feet felt the cold marble floor at the edge of the building.
Watching her tear drops fall 30 stories down to the ground.

She took out her phone.
24 missed calls.
With all the arm strength that's left in her, she flung it as hard as she could.
Waiting a few seconds before she heard it crumble and crash into pieces of nothing.
Will she be next?

Anticipating her final steps, she took a deep breath of midnight air.
Looking down below, her feet started to shiver.
She shut her eyes with all her might, preparing for the final leap of her 16 years.
Does her family want to know where she is?
What about her friends?
Who in the world cares if she made the biggest mistake in her life now?

"I care, because I love you."

A sudden realisation.
A crucial skip of her beating heart.
A sense of calmness sunk into her body.
A feeling of warmth, serenity and security.
She hesitated for a moment and retreated by a metre from the edge.

"Who, who is there who loves me?"

"I do, for you are My daughter, and I love you for who you are."

She dropped to her knees as she broke down in tears.
Out of everyone, she had forgotten the One who loves her the most.
Disappointed with people's actions and words, she had forgotten the One who is capable of meeting her expectations.
Upset with fluctuating emotions, she had forgotten the One who can provide her with perfect love.

She climbed down the ledge, swaying with emotions, but saved in the spirit.

Check, Yes Juliet

2008-10-19T20:29:00.002+08:00

2 more weeks and it'll be here.
4 more weeks and it'll be over.

When I was in secondary school, we used to have a cement wall like those in army camps where soldiers had to jump and climb over them.
A few good friends of mine and I will take turns to run from far till we gain enough momentum and confidence to out-climb each other.

There were a few times when situations like this happened.
From afar, it looked so tiny and easy to overcome.
But as I got nearer, fear started to sink in and I would break hard just in time at the foot of the wall.
The foot of the wall.
It was only at that point when I realised what a giant I was facing, not what I saw when I was a few metres away.
I would then try and try again until I was confident and managed to make it over to the other side.

Right now, there is no "trying again and again".
I only have one shot at it. (who would aim to get retained??)

Fear creeps to many hearts during this leg of the race, making the cement wall seem so huge as the day approaches.
Choose to see it differently.
Although we walk through the valley of death, we shall fear nothing.

Make that cement wall look so small that you are capable of walking over it without much effort.

Or death or all his friends

2008-10-17T20:11:00.003+08:00

My favourite 2 designs out of the many we made =D
Good Job guys.

Only $15.90 per shoe, customized by us.
Please support: http://iamshoes.blogspot.com

--------------------------------------

Look at me and see me inside out.
I shall be transparent before you.
I will turn to you.
Be my mirror, my sword and shield.

heh

2008-10-14T19:50:00.003+08:00

This week marks the start of my mini-entrepreneurship group.
It's not really concrete yet, we're just earning capital first.

This is the only product we are currently selling.Mary Janes

We take orders, customize and then design up to your expectations.
Selling at a cheap price of $15.90

If interested, or for further details, please call me. =D

Coach me

2008-10-09T18:52:00.004+08:00

One might say that things in life have a way with themselves.
Maybe they are forced.
Or do they come by for a reason or purpose to make us better/worse off.

Seasons change.
People change.
Characters and personalities change.

And somehow, we are faced with a challenge to choose.
What we truely desire to have.

We are riduculed everyday with different senarios and situations.
Bombarded with perplexing questions and unwanted thoughts.
Pressed hard on every side.
But are we shaken?
Do we shatter into bits and pieces?

That's your decision.

We humans, by nature, want things our way.
Badly.
We desperately cling on to things that seem impossible to attain.
Unaware that the more we hang on, the more we will never even be able to smell it.

We can't let go of things from the past.
Neither do we choose to embrace what is set before us which may help us in our current situation.
Stubborness gets the better of us.
"It's either my way or I'm not going anywhere!"

Acceptance is the key to our questioning minds.

Take it this way,
It's 20 seconds from the end of the game.
The crowd is anxious.
Your team is frustrated.
You can't seem to make the hoops.
You're down 83-85 and all you need is a shot from one of the star players.
Your basketball coach tells you to make the pass, and sends the team off.

The crowd stands and cheers as the game starts rolling.
Some with hands clutched tight to one another.
Others with arms in the air, counting down to the final whistle.

You have possession.
Your buddy's waving his arms, signaling for the pass.
You stand frantically behind the white line of the semi-circle.
"I can do this, once I get this in, it'll be all over."

You take one last glance at your buddy as you prepare for the jump.
But all you could feel was his disagreeing angish from his expression.
Your eyesight becomes myopic as you release the ball from your palms.
Slowly, you stand in dispair.

Stubborness, to selfishness, to weariness, to guilt and regret.

Sometimes, we do not need concrete evidence to prove that things will go right.
He knows what will happen and why things happen.
He knows what's best for us even if we ourselves aren't aware.
He is our coach, the one who has been through it, lived through it, and understands it all.
When He says it, we listen.
Seldom do we need to question.
Never do we have to doubt.

Listen to what your coach has to say.
It's good advise.

+

2008-10-05T00:32:00.002+08:00

knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door.
press, press, pressing on heaven's doorbell.

"Please enter."

The song that's playing

2008-09-29T22:25:00.005+08:00

Awesome Song.
If you're a guitarist interested to play it, sorry if the chords are misplaced.

F C
When I left home to be who I am,
Dm7 Bb
Some people said "No Way".
F C
But I laid it all down, gave everything
Dm7 Bb
In my head rang the words that my father said.

Dm7
You're never far,
Bb
I will be where you are.
Dm7
and when you come to me
Bb C
I will open my arms.

F
Welcome Home, you
C
I know you by name.
Dm7
How do you do?
Bb
I shine because of you today.
Dm7
So come and sit down,
C
Tell me how you are?
Bb C
I know son, it's good just to see your face.

F C
When I look at you holding my heart
Dm7 Bb
I will give to you all that I have
F
Son I know there'll be times
C
You will feel all alone
Dm7 Bb
I will share with you the words my father said

Dm7 F
So I’ll be waiting for that day
C Dm7
Just to feel Your warm embrace
Bb F
Your love has shown I will never be alone
C Bb
For You will welcome me home
Dm7 C
I’ll forever be, for you will say to me
Bb C
Welcome home.

Can't wait for that day He'll welcome us all home with open arms.
With a smile on his face, proud of us glorifying His name, He says "Welcome Home my Son."
And we'll fellowship like we've never did before.

You are.

2008-09-28T12:22:00.002+08:00

The world, is sad.
Disappointed to the bone.
Upset in every inch of a person's body.
Frustrated at every moment caught by one's eyes.

It's easy to put up a front and claim that one is alright.
But deep down, there's a fear, an irritation, a hatred that lingers.
The hand of the devil.
It grips onto the hearts of many and refuses to let go.
Every now and then, it claws and holds on tighter, making the pain excruciating.

Why??
Why must people feel this way?

Their hearts are filled with darkness.
The emptiness tinges body, soul and spirit, and leaves a void which attracts the claws of the murderer to sink deeper and deeper.

Evil, evil, evil.
Question: "What can compare to the evil of the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy?"
Broken relationships, wrong mindsets, unforgiving grudges, incomprehensible attitudes are all part and parcel of it.
You see them everyday, you feel them every minute and you may think of them every single second.

Hope I don't sound negative enough to be labelled a pessimist.

On the flip side of the coin,
"What can compare to the One who has come to heal the brokenhearted, to save those who seek salvation and proclaim revival?"

Take 1 minute to think about it.

Done?
You may have thought of various senarios, pictures, words and phrases that could have represented Him.
Majestic robes, a leader with boldness and courage.
Some may even compare Him with purifying streams, tantalizing water, the gentle breeze that sooths one's soul.

But the truth is in fact, NOTHING is comparable to Him.
"I AM who I AM...Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, 'I AM has sent me to you'" - Exo 3:14

Wait a minute.
You may say, "Man the bible sure has bad English, who in the world says statements like 'I am has sent me to you'?"

Well, you just said it.
It's in the bible and it will remain in it for eternity as it is the truth.

NOTHING is comparable to Him, nothing.
Hence, it is stated in the truth of all truths - "I AM"

I am, what?
He is, what?
You are, what???
What is He?

Everything.

There is nothing that can compare with the king of kings, so it is finalised that He is.
You are.

And since everything is Him, it definitely outweighs the many which describes the evil of the world.
Who would choose many if one is promised everything?

He is.
Yesterday, today and for eternity.

Turn that dark, blood-stained claws into white, majestic wings that will protect not only your heart, but every part of you.

For You are.

Adoption

2008-09-22T22:45:00.002+08:00

I never really understood the word which revolves around the world of parenthood.
(The word above if you didn't notice)

In a way, one has to love the person he/she is adopting FROM SCRATCH.
On another page, the second party must also adopt the first as a parent/sibling/guardian in order for the process to be complete.
In other words, is it easy for it to happen?
It's difficult.
Very difficult.
Unless both parties come with a heart that's willing.

I was adopted, not into my current family, but into the family of Christ.
25th December 2006, I was accepted with open arms.
And time seemed to pass by so fast.
Many else became my brothers and sisters through adoption as well.

But amongst all, it is 5 of my younger brothers whom I am most proud of.

I adopted them the same way that I was adopted.
And even showered them with even more love and faith than what I have previously received.

"Whoever waters shall be watered also", but how can I know how to water others if I haven't experienced from others who know how to water?
How can I be a blesser if I haven't been first blessed?
And I have been, many many times.
Now I pass it on to them.

But the best thing is this.
They move my heart the way real siblings do to each other.

When they received salvation, my heart broke.
When I see them growing, I smile.
When I know they hunger for Him the way I do, I am proud of them.
When they say, "Ryan, I'll support you!", I'm sure I'll cry the way a big brother does.

And I want to take care of them the way a big brother does as well.

As for this adoption,
I was willing to accept them as my younger brothers.
And they were willing as well to acknowledge me as their brother.

And thanks to them, I finally realised the meaning of adoption.

Rejoice

2008-09-19T02:10:00.002+08:00

Prelims have ended.
Hallelujah.

Now time for a short-term holiday. =)

Waiting for the assurance of approval is one of my flaws.
With the comfort of knowing I am 100% right or guaranteed free from risks.
That's it.

"Do you agree that human beings should live more dangerously?"
That was one of the questions from my GP paper 1 which triggered this thought.
To think that something from an exam could trigger my thoughts.

And to think that I agreed with the author, when I myself is an irony of what I wrote.
Contradictory.

"A servant is someone who acts upon listening to orders."
"A Son is someone who acts upon initiative because of a divine love for his Father."

Taking risks is one thing, but having initiative is a step further than that.
And the success that will be obtained will come from the constant experience from failure.
I fall, but I will learn, and emerge stronger than before.

Soar.

for a higher purpose

2008-09-14T21:37:00.004+08:00

Okay, let's ignore the video and focus on the words for a minute.

"I am the wind.
On land, no blade of grass moves without Me.
At sea, every rising wave is touched by Me.
Wherever you are, I am high enough to see you.
And strong enough to reach out to you.
And place strength in your hand.
You may not always see Me,
But you'll always feel Me.
For I am here for a higher purpose."

Sounds like the words someone familiar might say?
I know. =)

Crack

2008-09-13T01:01:00.002+08:00

Stress is an issue of the past.
It will perpetually come to haunt me, but it never stays for long.

Raindrops on my window paint a million smiles for You.
My soul rests on your silhouette, all I need is found in You.

Comfort

2008-09-11T20:50:00.002+08:00

The questions get tougher as the days go by.

Seems to pass by so fast, but the thought of what lies ahead lingers.

When I am weak,
He is strong, mighty and awesome.

This time, I was positive I wasn't alone.
He was by me, whispering words of guidance in my ears.

I've seen people frustrated.
Some broke down.
Desperate for another chance to change their answers.
I didn't know it was that bad.

I've seen my weak self once again.
"I can't do it."
"Why not just give up, I can't get a good grade anyway."
Tormented by the stress of daily regrets.
"Why didn't I do it right?"
"This won't get me anywhere."

Pessimisms of life.
Not only does it bend our thinking, it breaks.
The human mind tends to lean to the negative.

We need some motivation.
Some encouragement, not from any other person.
Yes, it may help, but it wears off somewhere, somehow.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He lets me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul.
......
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

He comforts me in times of crisis.
In times of need.
In times when I'm of my weakest state.
He is there, 24/7 to guide me in my ways.

Hope I get good grades.^^

The One

2008-09-09T08:56:00.003+08:00

SongJie and I with similar shoes.

Rockers.
Thanks John for uploading.

Sometimes, we are so mesmerized by the sights and sounds.
And we say to ourselves, "I really want to capture this on tape."

But I rather that people enjoy the moment rather than have it on the picture, you might even miss when searching for your camera.

It's true a picture paints a thousand words.
But what are pictures compared to unforgettable memories?
If a picture paint a thousand, memories paint millions.

Why not enjoy moments which are rare to get by, and THEN take a picture after you're satisfied.

Root three

2008-09-04T17:38:00.002+08:00

I fear I will always be,
A lonely number like root three.

A three is all that is good and right.
Why must my three keep out of sight,

Beneath a vicious square-root sign.
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick
With just some quick arithmetic.

I know I'll never see the sun
As 1.7321

Such is my reality,
A sad irrationality.

When, hark, just what is this I see?
Another square-root of a three.

Has quietly come waltzing by
Together now we multiply

To form a number we prefer
Rejoicing as an integer.

We break free from our mortal bonds
And with a wave of magic wands,

Our square-root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed.

-Kumar's Root-3 poem

Chapter 56

2008-09-01T12:26:00.002+08:00

"Run, run as fast as you can,
You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbreadman."

I feel like I'm floating on air for the past few days.
So many things to complete,
So little time.

But surprisingly, I feel satistied, contented, filled to the brim.

Trust me when I say I haven't been studying much.

Why do I feel so calm at a time like this?
I used to be frustrated that I couldn't get formulas into my head.

"All those who seek, come to Me, and I will give you rest."
That's what He said.

And that's what I did.
He gave me the best rest I could experience in my 18 years.

We as humans, do things, and are obstinate towards the dire consequences that follow, even if it was emphasized many times before.
I learnt one thing in the past month.

With Him, dire consequences are seldom.

He writes a book, a story about our individual lives.
When we are born again, He writes even more pages enthusiastically, eager to finish with a happy ending.
"He is the author and finisher of our faith."

But us as humans, are often stubborn.
We want things our way, we don't want to follow what He has written.
So we tear out some of the pages in this book and insert some of our own.

Now,
Think of how the author of the book feels.
Not only does it frustrate Him when we destroy what He has planned for us, but imagine the extra effort He must put in to edit the rest of the story behind that torn page.
You can't have a nice novel with a page that is inconsistent with the story.

I choose to read the story He has prepared for me, anticipating what awaits as I turn the page to the next chapters of my life.

Fiona

2008-08-24T22:13:00.004+08:00

As I stepped into the entrance of the store, my eyes chanced upon a dark, slim figure.

I glaced back and forth to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.

I saw her, for the first time.

I wandered around the store for moment, watching her as she stood by her friends, many friends.

I decided to walk closer, to get a better view.

Trying not to be suspicious, I pretended to be interested in the stereo-systems while keeping her at the corner of my sight.

The moment was right, this was my chance.

I took the few steps of courage up to her and looked her in the eye.

Bizzare as it was, her friends lay motionless as they stared at me.

Being curious, I too had to look at a few of them.

I gulped down what seemed to be my last breath.

I put my arms around her.

One hand supporting her neck and the other on her body.

.
.
.
.
.

I picked her up.
And she went back with me to my place.

We had a good time so far.
Got to know her alot even if it was the first day we met.

She's special, that's why I picked her amongst all her other friends.
Some even demanded a higher price for their loyalty. =))

Say hello to Fiona.
Isn't she pretty.
She's like a human soul singing to me with her 6 strings.

And no I'm not guitar-fetish.

clockworks

2008-08-22T00:22:00.002+08:00

It is not because times are difficult which causes us to have no faith in ourselves.

But it's in fact of the absence of faith which results in things being difficult.

Jan

2008-08-20T19:51:00.002+08:00

So much to do, so little time.
I guess A levels will always feel like that for generations.

I can proudly say I did alot in the pst few weeks.
But I can't help it but feel I didn't do enough.
This goes for the majority of the cohort.

Prelims in less than 2 weeks, hope I can pass them with flying colours.

Bookworm

2008-08-13T22:50:00.002+08:00

Question: "Mr Pang, what do you do for a living?"

"I study, and study, and will be studying until I grow old."

packed

2008-08-11T22:39:00.002+08:00

Two men.
Walking on the pathway towards their peace.
Swaying from side to side,
Speaking words as they proceed.

Some think they're drunk.
Others think they're just weird.
But every few metres seemed like a mild step in a desert with no way out.

They haven't been sleeping well for the past few days.

But the journey back refreshed one of them, so to speak, and completed the day for him.
Instead of words they were speaking, they were singing songs of praise, songs of worship.

Yes, they didn't converse much, although they had alot of similarities and burdens to share from the past week.
All they needed, however, were each others company, and the company of another special person, The Holy Spirit.

Thanks for the company, and all the countless times we've walked back and forth from your house to mine refusing to return home before the other does.
You're a true brother, John.

"Busy people change the world."

Friendship

2008-08-10T20:36:00.006+08:00

If someone asks you this question:

"What are you proud about yourself?"

What and how would you answer?
Someone asked me that yesterday, and I had alot to say to him.

But soon enough, another question shot out at me, "What is the most valuable thing you've learnt in your JC life?"

AWESOME. I got a whole bunch of formulas and knowledge I could reiterate and emphasize over and over again, but not this time.

"What is the most valuable thing you've learnt in your JC life?"

Well, I would strongly agree that I've learnt a whole deal of knowledge in JC.

From Electrophilic Substitution Mechanisms to Double Slit Experiments.
From The Invisible Hand of the Market to 3SPs and 2DPs.
And how double angle formulas make your vision split into two.

But all these are trivial. T-R-I-V-I-A-L.
All these stuff, take time, a loooong time to learn and to master.
I have to confess, my brain can't take all the definitions in my Chem notes.

But are these subjects which have such a huge chasm of distictiveness and contradiction between one another the most valuable thing you've learnt???

Well, some may say so, but not for me.

What's my answer then, for that perpetually perplexing question?

FRIENDSHIP.
Not just ordinary friendship, not friendship that will definitely last, but friendship forged because of a kind heart.

Meridian Junior College is like any other school.
We have the cool, the emo, the nerds, the sporty, the groupies, the slackers, any type of personalities you can find in any school in Singapore.

So that means, we also have the outcasts.

I know a few people, both from my batch, the previous and the next, who are constantly being ostracized from their classmates, from their "peers".

Don't look at me, you know who I'm talking about, there're bound to be a few in your school too.

People find it difficult to "click" with these lost souls.

These are what people in the world would think:
"All these people want is attention, what's their problem?"
"Why are they so arrogant, what's their problem?"
"This guy is so vulgar and rude, what's his problem?"
"He's so childish, what's his problem?"
"He has no mind of his own, what's his problem?"
"They think they look cool in that? What's their problem?"

Well, they are true. To a certain extent.
They DO have problems.

And their problem, could be amazingly similar to others with the same personality.
It was not in their DNA, it was cultivated from young.

This is what He, who is wise would think:
"He seeks attention, he could have a family who neglects him."
"He's proud of himself, he may have been influenced from his arrogant father."
"He has low sensitivity in this speech, his previous friends must have been vulgar."
"Due to his immaturity, he must be suffering from low self esteem."
"He follows and doesn't lead, he has no confidence in himself"
"He wants to be known in school, may be he's not acknowledged in his youth."

Now, compare these opinions with the ones before.
Which do you think is the mature and optimistic point of view?

Truthfully speaking, it is not easy to think this way, I've tried and tried.
But slowly and surely, a day will come when insultive thoughts are outweighed by compassion and sincerity.

Through my days in JC, I've learnt something which will never leave my mind - "Hurt people tend to hurt people."

Using that phrase of understanding, I have learnt less to point fingers and laugh at others. But instead, link hands and cure their hearts one step at a time.

THAT is the most valuable thing I have learnt in JC.

!

2008-08-10T10:56:00.000+08:00

I miss Pre-U Seminar...badly.

Alienified

2008-08-06T20:40:00.002+08:00

It's like eating a huge, extravagant ice cream cake.
It tastes awesome in the first few bites.
But you get sick of it after you've eaten too much.

Steady.

Moulding

2008-08-03T00:46:00.005+08:00

It came down from above.
Catching it as it drops.

What a split second reaction.
The moment of comprehension.
Failed to slip pass trembling fingers.

It ain't wrong.
But it certainly isn't right.
It hits like power-packed punches to the chest.

Can't it be better?
It's not that simple.

Stop thinking, it'll resolve.

"Insanity is like gravity, all it needs is a little push." - The Joker

As steady as it gets.

The first song on the playlist

2008-07-27T23:41:00.003+08:00

Scott Stapp - Surround me

They say no man's an island but I tend to disagree
I guess they've never seen my island,
And where it lies at sea

I'm lost inside my memory.
I'm still in disbelief.
If I could paint a picture for you this is what you'd see

I'm down on my knees,
Begging you to rescue me.
Please stop me
Don't let me run
Surround me, surround me now.

A wounded man sounds desperate when he's lost all his belief
Can you look into my eyes and say you won't betray me

We're running out of time
How precious time can be
I'm counting all the moments of the times you could have helped me

I'm down on my knees,
Begging you to rescue me.
Please stop me
Don't let me run
Surround me, surround me now.

Awesome song, I'm going to learn how to play it.

Nostalgia

2008-07-23T21:11:00.004+08:00

It's amazing how time can pass so fast.
In a few months time, I'll already be sitting for my As.

Ironically, I would say that time has not pass much for me.
Instead, it's going by rather slow.

Walking back today, I had a reminisce of myself and my friends before.
We will be hanging out in town, chilling at each other's houses and playing basketball all day long.
Time has changed.
Time has made us different.

Now, they're all driving cars and setting up businesses and making money, something I wouldn't have forseen and imagined them being when I was a kid.

I can proudly say I'm still young.
People even mistaken me for a 16 year old, and I will forever look that way. =)
I remember my secondary 2 literature teacher who was 24 saying, "I am 20 years old and I will still be 20 even if I'm old and frail."

Age is not a factor.
Yes, adults may say that we're still young.
But youth is something which should not hold back our decisions or dreams.
I can do alot of things while I'm young.

The wrong perspective of one's youth is like serving a prison jail term.
People underestimate our potential because they think we're too young, and we feel that we have to serve that "compulsory" jail term before we are ready to start afresh.
However, God has the funds to bail you out of prison and unleash your capabilities.

Take it this way.
Imagine you have the potential to earn a million dollars before you become 35, but you've yet to discover your potential until you've tasted the real deal.

What most youths think, is that they're not good enough to achieve their future aspirations when they're still young.
"We're too young."
"We're too naive."
"We're not ready."
Then I guess you'll be serving a pretty long jail sentence.

Instead, start now.
I may be busy, but that will not stop me from achieving my future goals.
And mind you, these are not my "when I turn 60" goals, these goals will be achieved before I turn 30.

"Let no man despise your youth; but be an example of the believers, in word, in speech, in conduct, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

He has bailed me out from prison, it's time to start afresh.
Dream big.

Washed

2008-07-20T00:30:00.003+08:00

Everyone say hi to my dog "xiao bao".
He's an old dog, a very old dog, way older than an average dog can live.
He's turning 17 soon.

I may not have mentioned him to anyone much, but I really love him.
He has brought joy into my life.
I can even say that he understands me alot.
He knows better than me what time I'm supposed to wake up for school.[yes, he gives me wake up calls often]

But he doesn't have long to live.
Doctor gave him a few more months.
It's a miracle that he has made it so long, despite his chronic disease.

But I really hope that he'll make it to heaven.
I believe so. Have been praying for him alot. =)
I wonder how it's like for him when he enters heaven, haha.

He's really like a little brother to me.
And I'm positive I'll see him through eternity as well.

Phew, this past week has practically been a terror to me.
I knew that the change in my character will have its positives and negatives.

I've been through the advantages.
But I've finally experienced the downfall of it all.

On the flip side of the coin, I'm saved from my trauma.
Saturday really is the time of the week I release everything and start afresh.
And it's about time I did.

Goodnight

2008-07-19T00:05:00.001+08:00

You left me hanging from a thread
We once were from together
I lick my wounds but I can
Never see them getting better
Something's gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

Her hair was pressed against her face
Her eyes were ran with anger
Enraged by things unsaid
And empty beds and bad behavior
Something's gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I'm sorry, I did not mean
To hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight,
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right
Whoa, oh

The room was silent as we
All tried so hard to remember
The way it feels to be alive
The day that he first met her
Something's gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

You make me think of someone wonderful
But I can't place her
I wake up every morning
Wishing one more time to face her
Something's gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I'm sorry, I did not mean
To hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, ...
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right

So much to love
So much to learn
But I won't be there to teach you, oh
I know I can be closed
But I'll try my best to reach you

I'm so sorry,
I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world

So goodnight.

Break

2008-07-17T16:48:00.004+08:00

Things have gotten the better of me.
But now a new phase of my life has begun.

I couldn't let go.
But it's time I made a choice.

I could have leaped forward to seize the chance, but I held back.
I wouldn't say that it was my instincts.
I wouldn't have known what would happen if I made the wrong decision.

The one thing I thought was there slipped away.
Well, it ain't all bad, it could be a good thing if I stay optimistic.

But I'm frequently obstinate to change.
I just have to accept it.
"Let not my decisions, but your will be done on earth as it is on heaven."

Just let nature take its course.
Everything's gonna be alright.
I'm sure of it.
Guide me.

Emission

2008-07-15T21:24:00.005+08:00

Your light shall overcome the darkness in me

School's been a chore for me, and it sure was for the majority of the student population.

Long hours of tutorials, extra lessons, endless lectures, increased consultations, repeating notes, ceaseless practices, perpetual scolding, sleepless nights, more wake up calls during class.

I ought to earn my straight As to make this time worth while.

In view of my upcoming torture of consistent bombardment of stress, I have taken up a new hobby of sketching.
It'll be my new anti-stress method.

Portrait of Danial.
It ain't that nice but I'm working on it.

Dance inside

2008-07-11T23:38:00.003+08:00

I plan to study more this semester
I'm going to make up for my failures.

I'm working on my straight As. =)

Psalms 23:1-4
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside still waters.
He rests my soul,
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For You are with me,
Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.

W.A.N.T

2008-07-09T17:59:00.002+08:00

Majority of the world's population aren't contented with what they have.
They want more.

A man once went to a minister for counseling.
He was in the midst of a financial collapse.

"I've lost everything," He moaned.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you've lost your faith," replied the minister.
"No," the man corrected him, "I haven't lost my faith."

"Well, then I'm sad to hear that you've lost your character."
"I didn't say that," the man answered, "I still have my character."

"Then I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your salvation."
"That's not it, I haven't lost my salvation."

"You have your faith, your character, your salvation. Seems to me," the minister paused for a moment, "that you've lost none of the things that really matter."

Sometimes people do think that they've lost everything.
Nope, they haven't.

Especially those who know the Lord.
Because with Him, we have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.

He has so much more things for us to receive compared to what we have lost in the past.

Superman

2008-07-06T10:31:00.003+08:00

JonLee, I and a funny smell
He's been an awesome brother for the past ~1.5 years
We even got a secret handshake.

I love my Saturdays.
The best time of the week, just to enter the house of God.
Listening to the Word.
Praising and worshiping Him.

Seems like I get a little wiser and wiser every week.

But trust me, it ain't easy throughout the week.
To keep the same countenance, to have the same attitude, to not repeat your same mistakes the week before.

As my leaders always said,
It is effortless to come to church once every week, and say that you're a changed person.
You tell yourself that you're transformed.
You repent on the sins you've committed in the past week.

But ultimately, you return into your campuses, your un-churched friends, your outer circle of influence a different person.

Some people pretend.
Others say, "But I just can't help it."

But you gotta do something about it.

Pastor always emphasizes that once you leave the service, you leave as a transformed person.
You have replaced your old man with a new man.
You become more spiritual than before.
Stick to it.

Do not let your past life or the influences around you turn you into something ugly.
You are a child of God.
Stand upon your beliefs and let no one despise them.
Instead, you should be the one influencing others positively.

I have experienced it, it's not going to be breeze.
But you have the best problem solver in the universe by your side.
It is not too late to change.

I'm crying out for more and more of you.

Breathe

2008-07-02T23:17:00.003+08:00

Slowly, just slowly, I finally saw my weaknesses.
It ain't all of them, but some prominent ones.

I was a lot weaker than I perceived myself to be.

I need You, badly.

Shape my lifestyle.
Give me strength.
Give me courage.
Give me boldness.
Give me faith.
Broaden my capacity.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Truely, heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen.

Fast--Forward

2008-07-01T10:27:00.004+08:00

I've loved this band since I was Secondary 2.

They produce great music.
They have the stage presence.
They make awesome guitar/bass/drum solos.
They started out small but was able to make it in the music industry.
They play their music with all their heart, body and soul.
The story behind their success is inspirational.

When I watch their MVs or see them on stage, it gives me an indescribable, sensational feeling.
And makes me miss performing on stage too.
Haha

Now I'm running towards you.
I won't stop! I can't be stopped anymore.
...
I haven't given up yet.

I just feel like jumping after hearing this song.

LOL and here's some slapping and drumming during an interval in one of their Shibuya concerts in 2006.
Trust me, everything here was just random playing to hype the crowd while the singers changed into new clothes.

Bigger dreams

2008-06-28T23:59:00.003+08:00

I was studying econs and look what I found!!
One of my bigger art works in my stack of notes.

3 more days till the end of my Mid Years.
3 more papers till I'm officially studying for the sake of my A levels and nothing else.

After As, there would be National Service.
Two more years of forgetting my formulas and definitions.

And after that'll be University, 4 MORE years of intense pushing to get my degree for my future job.

That makes a total of 6 and a half more years before I finally settle down and relax from studying.
6 more years and then *poof* I'll be of a ripe old age of 24.

But that won't stop me.
I'll enjoy my youth before 24 while I can.
I am capable of doing so many things during before 20.

I'm looking forward to it.

"For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life."

Nothing gold can stay

2008-06-23T17:57:00.001+08:00

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

-Robert Frost [The Outsiders]

Pollyanna

2008-06-22T22:11:00.004+08:00

The fear that lingers..

It's weird that I feel this way from time to time.

"Fear of what?"
Everything.
Mostly about my future goals, aspirations and targets I hope to achieve.

"Am I able to achieve what I plan to achieve?"
"Will I be quick to conform to the hectic routine that is set before my very eyes?"
"What lies behind the uncertainty of my future?"
"Will I be the same person I am now?"

Hmmmmmm...time for an analogy.

Future goals to me, are like seeing stars in the city.
You know they are there, and that you are able to roughly catch a glimpse of them, but soon you're blinded due to light pollution from buildings and street lamps.

We are able to attain our goals and aspirations, only if we focus hard enough on them, and not be deceived by the distractions in our lives.
Some might lose track and say,"It's just too difficult, the lights are too bright for me to see the stars." Hence, we have to rid of those distractions before the ramifications sink in.

"DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM WITH YOU."

"Trust in Him with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall DIRECT YOUR PATHS."

Do not be a pessimist, that will only cause you to lose faith and dwindle your way into darkness.
It may not take just a while for people to be self-motivated, but for me, this is roughly how it works-

Fear turns into doubt, doubt turns into complexity, complexity turns into uncertainty, uncertainty turns into thoughtfullness, thoughtfullness turns into evaluation, evaluation turns into reflection, reflection turns into optimism, optimism turns into decision, decision turns into salvation.

Awesome.
=)

By the way, Saturday was the greatest day so far in the whole of June.
Souls were added into the kingdom.
And it was not because of one, not two, but the complimentary effort of E412 which did it.
I was sincerely blessed and it made me had an overflow of happiness in my spirit.
Our seeds were indeed multiplied, futhermore, it was of good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over in abundance.

Regeneration

2008-06-21T11:46:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's Alive! Finale night was great!!

Good job E412 in clinching the most prizes due to our hard work and perseverence.

And thank you E413 for the awesome help you have given us.
We were great last night. =)

The 21 days of June are going to be over soon.
It has been a great 21 days.
Alive! 2008 was all in all an impactful event.
ALOT of fabulous things have happened.
I could say that it has changed me inside out.
It has taught me a whole lot of valuable lessons.
And as John said, it has revealed flaws about myself which I was oblivious to.

I LOVE the June holidays.

The paradox of it all, is that it is NOT over.

There are many things I have yet to experience.
And many more encounters that are coming my way.

I will continue to pray.
I will continue to look to Him the way I did.
I will continue to serve in any way I can.

It is just the beginning.

"A servant is not defined by his/her willingness to serve, but by the quality of service which he/she produces." - Dr Robb Thompson

Ding-Dong, Doors closing

2008-06-19T21:52:00.003+08:00

Kids don't ever try this in class when you're sleeping.

The library has seemed to have taken a toll on me.
I'm soooooo addicted to visit the library at least once everyday.

It started out as a conducive place to study, but it became an everyday affair.

I'm starting to become like the woman John told me about who unofficially "married" herself to the Berlin Wall because she thought IT was handsome.
She was wall-fetish.

Maybe I am library-fetish.

*snap out of it*

FRUITILITY

I learnt that word pretty late in my life.
I remember in Primary 4, my teacher wrote in my report card:
"Ryan needs to make use of his holidays fruitfully to attain the good results he is aiming for."

It's not about how much time we have that is important.

What matters is how we utilize and employ the time we have to the best of what we got in order to make our future goals a reality.

TIME is an important seed which human beings must treasure.
We must have the knowledge to purposefully sow what I might like to call "time-seeds".
As "farmers", know which ground is suitable to sow this "time-seed" in.
I must say majority of MY "time-seeds" have been sown into the studygrounds.

Don't worry if you have not sown your seeds into good ground.
You still have many many more seeds to start afresh with.

Like I have said, as "farmers" we must plan and have foresight.
"What weather would come in the near future?"
"Will the climate be suitable or ideal for my seeds to germinate?"

Ah-Ha!!
With that knowledge in your hands, anyone will be able to be the leading farmers of the future.
The harvest will indeed be plentiful and rich in quality.
Stop procrastinating and start growing healthy crops for the future NOW.

Thank you

2008-06-15T00:17:00.002+08:00

Thank you to everyone for the,

wonderful presents,

sincere wishes,

amazing treats,

awesome fellowship,

late nights out.

This year's birthday was truely different.
A sincere THANKS to everyone who made it so special.

Reminisce

2008-06-13T14:20:00.002+08:00

Stars are one of the most beautiful things one can ever see at night.

Especially when Singapore is so polluted with city lights, it is rare for one to fully appreciate the night sky.

I grasp every opportunity I can to get a glimpse of the star-populated sky.

It reminds me of my Secondary school days where we used to sit on the elevated volleyball court watching stars till we were chased out of school.

"Shut your eyes for like 1 minute, after that stare hard enough and you'll be able to see them"

"You see the 3 stars in a row? That's the Orionz belt."

Those were the days. =)

Fly

2008-06-11T12:01:00.001+08:00

I dig my toes into the sand.

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.

I lean against the wind,
pretend that I am weightless.

And in this moment I am happy.

Seriously, I wish you were here.

Overflow..

2008-06-08T12:05:00.002+08:00

"The greatest man you'll ever meet in your life is the one who holds the key to unlock the future destined for you" - Dr. Robb Thompson

Well, studies have been going smoothly for me.
But I'm still not yet confident that I can get straight As. =D

I woke up one morning feeling kind of blue.

I used to think that mornings aren't my kind of thing.
I used to hate mornings.

"Why should I be waking up so early?"
"What's the use of getting out of bed at 6 for school, when you know you'll only be done with the day by 5?"
"Why must I wake up to study, I'll do it at night."

The pleasant morning for me used to be one which I would get up at 2 or 3.

Why???
Why did I waste my time sleeping from 8 or 9, all the way till the afternoon?
8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2.

6 hours of sleeping.
I could do 3 maths papers in 6 hours.

Some might argue that sleep is essential.
There may be a few who say that sleeping is a productive activity.
Not when you're sleeping 14 or 15 hours everyday.

I need to cultivate a habit of 6 to 8 hours of sleep.
That'll be essential for me.
And I urge people to think likewise as well.

Recent research has shown that people who have the longest lifespan are those who sleep an average of 6 to 7 hours a day.
Scientists used to think it was 8 hours a day.
Well, what do you know, humans adapt to their busy work schedule. =)

I'm the kind of person who needs to take every hour of the day into account.
I will feel down in the dumps if I knew I had wasted my time sleeping or on something else.
~~Every minute of my life is crucial to my survival.~~
Hmmmm, probably not to that extent.

I woke up today, feeling kind of new.

[quoted from Angel in Disguise]

The journey of life.

2008-06-05T14:49:00.003+08:00

Bumped into a few of my old friends yesterday.
They're about 15-16 now.

Yes, they've changed.
But in a way, they're still the same.
The same old way we used to do things still resides in them.

It reminded me of my former self.
Childish, immature, rowdy, vulgar and disrespectful.
Made me do some self-reflection.

It was like looking into the mirror and only to see yourself, 4-5 years ago.
"Was I like that?"
Yes, I was.
And it looked a whole lot different compared to who I am now.

I've moved on.
I've thrown away my old self and put on a new man.
Forgiven of my past crimes and sins.
I've taken the biggest step of my life.
And have made the biggest decision.
I'm thankful for that.

Hush..

2008-06-01T21:25:00.002+08:00

The habit of saying yes to everything lingers inside of my conscience.
Agreeing to requests and giving in to arguements.

I have to stop it.

My time is limited.
Our choices determine our sacrifices.
And the decisions are many.

The consequences are yet to be determined.
But my priorities have to be straight.

Wake up Ryan!

Another Week has gone away

2008-05-31T12:57:00.013+08:00

Finally back from Pre-U Sem.
It has been a a tough, stressful and tiring week.
There are many who wished they won't ever experience it again.
I choose to think positive. The whole thing was SUPER-DUPER-ULTRA-MEGA FUN!!

Even though my Seminar Group wasn't the loudest over there, but I felt that they has their fun and the Pre-U Sem had carved something unforgettable in their hearts.
Words cannot express MY unforgettable experience of waking up at 4plus for morning briefing, going hyper during the day with my participants even though they were tired, singing in the bath with all my level 3 mates, slacking at each others room where we'll end up dozing off, catching a grasshopper and causing a din in our hall.
And many many more other stories I can tell.

Well, all I have to say was that the stay in NTU was worth it.
Firstly, thanks to all the teachers who were concerned, caring and took care of us when we were in need.
Thanks to my Level 3 mates, for turning sleeping hours into late night parties. Thanks to my bunk mate Jeremy, for making the stay fun and doing lame stuff together.[you'll see a video later ^^]
Thanks to my cluster A1, for the long debriefs and the talks we had.
But most of all, thanks to my SG, for making Pre-U Seminar an unforgettable one.

Photos I took during Pre U Sem. Photos go in chronological order from the earliest took to the latest. The first few days weren't much of picture taking sessions, there are a few though. It's a pity many other photos were not stored in my phone.

The grasshopper we caught. Hope it's doing well in the bushes. My SG!! Funny people, really! Chew stoning before entering the auditorium for OC. Jem and I crapping around in the toilet.

Sandcastle challenge was on the fourth day.
Cool guys in RED. The casino sandcastle my SG built. [it's an ace of diamonds and a dice] A sports hall. Seminar Group 3~!!

The last day was great, even though we were all dozing off.
Kathleen!! It was great knowing her as a SGL since last year. Grace, who has more than 2 dimples. I always ask bernice if she's alright because she's so fragile!! Shenna!! Hope to see you in school often k? Xin Yi, I have her MI badge. [btw, she was tip-toeing and I was squatting]

This is my SG's Home-Made Music Video.

And the moment many would take home from Pre-U Sem. Enjoy!

I missed Pre-U Seminar and I hope many others did too. And I hope to see my SG around Singapore too, even though we're all from different schools.

Nothing was meant..

2008-05-25T10:24:00.002+08:00

It's been hectic and busy but I managed to get a com.
Found this song, it kinda reminded me of stuff.

A Lonely September - Plain White T's

You reign victorious.

2008-05-19T00:05:00.004+08:00

I am so blessed that tomorrow's a holiday.
I need a full day of rest to recharge myself for school.

Emotions are....
A weird thing which humans have.
Do emotions determine our characters?
Or is it due to specific personalities which stir up the emotions in us?
Many might agree that our character traits that cause certain emotions in us to occur in certain situations.
Yes, yes, it's true.
But is it necessarily a good thing?
Fortunate for us, we are made in His image.
We are blessed with emotions.
A privilege, an advantage, an upper-hand, an honour.
It makes people beautiful.
However, is feeling sad, angry, doubtful, upset, weary the beauty of human beings?

Everyone experiences it, even me.
Sometimes, it becomes too excruciating and tormenting that we can't control it.
It eats us inside out and cause us to break down.
It steals away our soul and burns away the remainders.
But with Him, nothing is impossible.
He is the first I confide in, the first I seek for, the first I turn to if I have any problems.
He hears me out and gives me advice to make things better.
He gives me hope for a brighter future.
He's a father who listens to my problems.
=)

I know SLO has been tiring so far and has made many complain.
Even I was moaning when we were ordered to climb up and down the campus.
But, I tend to look at the bright side of things.
Especially when Jem and I were going hyper when things seemed down.
Kept singing songs and doing lame stuff.
Well, the food was free and the company was just awesome. =)

Chew Long and her *new* Rubik's (hope I can finish teaching you tml)

5th Atlas House Comm.

Calvin, Bimbo, Ah Boon, Fat and Fatter xD

Well, last but definitely not the least.
Taken last week on the way to FB training.
My little S&G IC Junior dozing on the bus.

You'll miss me when I'm gone.

2008-05-15T22:34:00.003+08:00

It has been a tough week.
Juggling time for as long as I can imagine.

What do people do to counter stress?

Here are some tips:
1.Exercise
2.Listening to music
3.Hanging out with friends
4.Sleep
5.Eat

Specific methods or mediums to destress differ from a person to another, and it may change as the person gets older.
Furthermore, different kinds of stress require very different means of tackling them.

However, as my GP tutor puts it, his opinion on anti-stress is simple despite the complexity of it all.

"The best way to counter stress is to study."

This paradox was running through my head for the whole GP lesson, and I realised that that statement could be true, to a certain extent of course.

For some, especially those in MJC, are stressed due to the fact that examinations are nearing and they have yet to study to their fullest potential.
Hence, the way to counter this stress is to study and satisfy their hunger of knowing every single detail in the lecture notes.

Of course, I would rather let you think and evaulate it instead of telling what is my FULL point of view on the statement.
It's more fun to find out the meaning of stuff yourselves.

Well, it's complicated, I understand.
It's not good turning around to another, and say what you shouldn't.
And when turning back, don't put a fake smile.
I missed the sincerity and kindness.
I missed the old you.
What happened?
I hope things turn out for the better.
I really do.
I'm perplexed at the way things are now.
Come back.
Come back to who you were before.

The shadow of the day

2008-05-11T00:02:00.001+08:00

A photo which brings backs memories.

NTU recce was great, even though we ended off super late, it was fruitful for me.
Well, not really just the recce itself, but the bonding of the SLOs.
Today was a good day.

Funny things guys do when they're bored.
Top:Ryan, Centre:Calvin, Bottom:Sean

Happy Student Liaison Officers.

Shagged after a day's work.

Well, a few days ago I tried to compose a song with Georgia.
I managed to squeeze out a verse and a chorus, will post the vid soon.
It's called "My Runaway Bride".
Here goes:

It is justified?
How I vindicate your love.
It is fine for me?
If I have to feel your pain.
But it's you, you're the one who drags me to the ground.
The only one who kills me inside out.

And now, all I wanna say is sorry,
You were always there through the night.
Oblivious to consequences,
I took the risk and now I pay the price.
Come back to me my runaway bride.

*smiles*

Hole in my heart..

2008-05-07T17:33:00.004+08:00

Empty, empty, empty....

Once in awhile, I will get weird feelings in my stomach.
It's kind of strange.

It's like I'm missing something for the day, like I'm set out to accomplish something, but I return home feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
Well, it may be the mundane schedule of school which is burning the time I have into bits and pieces of scraps.

Well, looking on the bright side, MOTHERS DAY is coming!! And I've bought this cute pair of slippers for my Mom. =DD

And besides that, I have plans to get into the mood of composing songs. It's been awhile since I've written anything, but most of the time I give up even before the chorus. Well, I hope it'll turn out good.

With two of my wives gone, I'm left with Georgia and Bunny(the oldie) to make music.
Aloy took Zenabi away and it's not gonna be soon before he returns it back to me. And John kidnapped Valencia and broke 3 of her strings. LOL.
Gonna have a good time with Georgia later. =)

Pooh bears.

2008-05-02T21:54:00.004+08:00

This was so long ago, but I just wanted to upload it.
Will be waiting for the day I'm gonna do it again.
It's been so long since I stepped into a shop with crane machines.

Jaz: "Oh my God, I used to think this one cheat money one lorr.." =))

I would walk on water

2008-05-02T20:43:00.005+08:00

Time passes so fast.
It's already May.
Seconds ticking away incessantly.
Minutes go by like seconds,
Hours like minutes.
Days are never-lasting.
Weeks make you want more.
Months say goodbye the minute they step in.
Life is short.

I gotta utilise my time wisely.
And prioritise my hours, and if I have to, even down to the minutes.

Thursday's sleepover was a blast.
Despite Daniel, HinKai and Dom nodding off to sleep at the coffeeshop, the soccer match was fulfilling.
Only Brian, uncle Foo and I were on the brink to wonderland, but survived.

Chelsea 3 - Liverpool 1

Being one of the FEW Chelsea supporters felt like a knife was being pointed at my throat.
I didn't dare jump and yell when the first goal was made.
And I felt intimidated when almost 99% of the uncles went berserk the minute Liverpool managed an equaliser.
Mahjonged and Slacked at my house.
Barely had sufficient energy to study the next day.

I don't know why, but the song "Lips of an Angel" keeps playing in my head.

"Honey why're you calling me so late?"
Yes yes, it goes on saying, "well, my girl's in the next room, somehow I wished she was you. I guessed we never really moved on"
Alright, this is the part where things get weird.
"It's really good to hear your voice, saying my name it sounds so sweet...and I never wanna say goodbye, but girl you make it hard to be faithful, with the lips of an angel"

It's not that I like the song. Well, it's not bad.
But it's so twisted, if you get what I mean.
QUESTION: "Why is the relationship so unmeaningful?" The first word in the song (honey) already makes me ponder about how unfaithful the guy is to BOTH girls.
It ain't good getting another girlfriend if you still love your ex.

Besides that, having the lips of an angel makes the guy unfaithful??
Hmmmm, I don't really get the literature behind that statement, I gotta get someone to explain it to me one day.
But all in all, the song somehow makes the guy look like the villain, the one at fault, the one making the mistakes, the heart-breaker.
Still, it seems theoretically wrong to label him the bad guy.

Sigh, I even wonder if the band have put in thought in the lyrics they write.
Sometimes you don't sense the heartfelt lyrics in today's songs.
It's like they write songs for the sake of writing to get famous.
Or may be they're just too emo.
Nasty.

How long have I been in this storm?

2008-04-27T22:06:00.004+08:00

Beutiful song.
It's amazing how bands can compose songs which are appreciated and loved in the secular community, but in such a way where they are simply worshipping.
This is one band who have my respect.

Lifehouse - Storm

How long have I
been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form.
Water's getting harder to tread,
With these waves crashing over my head.

If I could just see you
everything will be alright.
If I'd see you
the darkness will turn to light

And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes,
And everything will be alright.
And everything will be alright.

I know you didn't
bring me out here to drown.
So why am I ten feet under and upside down?
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface.

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I see you
the darkness will turn to light

And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes,
And everything will be alright.

And I will walk on water,
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes,
And everything will be alright.
And everything will be alright.

In memory of...

2008-04-26T13:19:00.002+08:00

Is life really that unfair?

Putting it simply, most of us are blessed with many privileges which others are longing to have.
Family, friends, possessions, gifts and overall, a good life.

Recently, John and I were cycling back and forth from his house and mine because our forgetfulness got the better of us.
Between such short distances, he accidentally ran over a rodent and I ran over a cockroach.
That makes two innocent lives in one day.
Even though they're not humans, it is still pitiful and sad when you know you've committed such an act.

It got me thinking.
But what about those lost souls and weary beings in the countries where war has been labelled a lifestyle for them?
Don't they also deserve the right treatment as us?
They're human beings after all.
War has stripped them off their basic rights.

However in a way, it made me also appreciate the life which I have.
It made me grateful of the things which I have.
So I have to make use of the time I have on earth wisely.
How can a few decades on earth compare to eternity which awaits me?
I'll have to enjoy it while it lasts.

I gotta go to those places to do some overseas CIP soon. =)

Thanks for the memories

2008-04-20T21:49:00.018+08:00

Alright, I got the photos from cheerleading.

It's a little messy because it was jumbled up in my folder, but anyways...

Hope you guys like it.

Chew, Boon, Louis and I - The Seasoned Cheerleaders

Our final stunt

Hitch

Atlas cheerleaders 2008

Mr and Miss Dimples

Guys will forever be guys

Tau pok! (look at dom's sick face)

Heeee

Say cheese!!

Yi fang and Shu ying!!

Lol

Presenting to you, Atlas Cheerleaders

With our two mascots

Chew Chew Train!! Cry some more. =)

Caught in the act

Mak and I with a nun.

Haha, yes pictures will always tell good stories and keep ever-lasting memories.

But just for now, here's the vid..

A return to earth

2008-04-19T09:58:00.003+08:00

Phew...

That's the correct word to use.

Phew...

Have been MIA for too long, now I have to start afresh and get on with the next chapter of my life.
Cheerleading was fun.
With tonnes of joy, laughter, sadness, shouting, running and most of all - aching.
But it was worth it.

Cheerleading is like a start towards building long-lasting friendships.
It was to me something which would be stored in part of my memory bank called "Treasures from Meridian"
And a few years down the road I will take it out my "hard-dive" and play it back over and over again.

Domonic asked me, "Ryan, will you still remember me after cheerleading?"
Shila was so reluctant to leave and go home on the last day.
Brian was contemplating whether to sleep over after cheerleading.
Hin Kai was strong and carried on despite his countless injuries.
Grace ate so much until she made us laugh.
Yi Fang wanted to make the day so special and took so many pictures with me.
Shu Ying was so nervous that Chew Long had to scold her to lock.
Jason was trembling like a vibrating guitar string during the show.
Mak and his stone face..LOL.
And not forgetting the 6 of THEM who has sticked with me since LAST colosseum.
Guys, I will not forget any of you. Haha.

But we're stepping down soon.
7 new leaders will be elected out of the many potential souls.
Never ending adventures await for these fresh starters.
Trials may come and setbacks may twist your mood.
With the help of the previous 7, you will find that the positive always outweighs the negative.=D
The experience is PRICELESS.

shoot

2008-04-10T23:18:00.002+08:00

Thought about it once, and I thought about it again.

I possess something people rarely have.

Some choose to deny it and try to remove every last remainder of it from themselves.

There are those who say it is a curse.

Many choose to think it is unique.

There have been some who wonder why they are shadowed by something so dreadful.

But others have seen the light of acceptance.

Countless souls have paid the price.

Others gave up trying and have neglected its existance.

Enemies mock at what we have which they don't.

They laugh.

They compare.

But worst of all, they insult.

We must stay strong.

We ought to reach a stage of independence where it does not affect us.

We are no different from others, just a little "special".

Close friends acknowledge us for who we are.

Not what we have.

It is not a curse.

Nor is it a taboo.

One shouldn't go around saying, "Why out of all the people in the world, it must be me."

It is something we, as human beings should respect.

We love ourselves for who we are.

People must be able to come into terms with it.

We should uphold what is rightfully ours, and ours truly.

Our leg hair.

xD

my beating heart

2008-04-08T22:38:00.001+08:00

I will lift my heart and sing
I will worship You my King
Earth and heaven now proclaim
Jesus Christ the Mighty Name

Through the storm and raging seas
I will never be alone
When my hope seems out of sight
I know You will shine Your Light

Alleluia Alleluia
Alleluia Alleluia
To Christ the Lord

joyness

2008-04-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

happy birthday aloy!!!

Grind~

2008-04-02T20:54:00.002+08:00

Two things I thought about on my way home today....

Ironic, how one can put up a strong, confident and cheerful front.
But deep, deep down in themselves, there is something scratching the walls of their hearts.
It is painful, very painful.

There is even no need to know the person in order to know that he/she has a serious issue.
You can run from reality, hide from it.
But you can never hide forever.
People can tell just by the look on other's faces and it blows their cover.

Secondly, I feel that some people are deluded trying to get attention from the public.
Yes, it is alright to feel the urge to be acknowledged by people, but doing foolish things really spoils the image of the positions they hold.
Of course, it will make some laugh.
But others may have different opinions about what they have done.
They will criticize.
They will discriminate.
They will put the name of who they represent to shame.
I wonder if those people have ever thought of that.

It's weird, yet amazing, the things people do to let others know about them.
Woooooossh!!

Hmmm...
*slaps myself*

I've recently been very busy with school events and work, had not much time for myself either.
I want to apologise for the stuff that I have missed, especially to E412.
Sorry for my prolonged absence.
I, however, want to thank all of you for your constant support and motivation. =)

Cheerleading has been a banging good time so far. Literally.
We had people landing forcefully on the mats numerous times.
With countless sprains and muscle injuries.
On top of that, we had to pull someone to the hospital after the first day of training.

Well, but we had fun.
Thank you all for your commitment and enthusiasm.

DINOSAUR

2008-03-30T17:52:00.010+08:00

Two fulfilling days of learning about leadership and skills for Pre-U Seminar.
Had quite a lot of fun with the people there,
As the trainer said, "The fun of any camp depends mostly on the enthusiasm and participation rate of the campers."
Well, got a few shots to show.

Le Dung and I. (not during the camp though)

Hazel's cute pose. Haha.

Time for camp photos. =D

Saving the Forests (from front: Qahhar, Ryan, Sean, Ah Boon, Jeremy)

Pretty Qahhar shagged after a night of "soccer".

Comments from my camp mates. Thank you so much for all your comments.
It wasn't this neat, I arranged it like that after the camp.=)

My name tag from half of the camp onwards.

TEAM DINOSAUR!!

Love you guys!!Kat's the only girl. Poor thing.

Well, camp has been a wholesome good time. Got to know a few friendly faces I was longing to talk to.

Although two days may seem short, it was a great session for most of us to bond.

Laughed so much until my sides split countless times.

Sang in the toilet with Meridian idol rejects Kevan and Louis.

Told ghost stories at the garden which ended up being sick stories thanks to Qahhar.

Heard Hazel laugh which sounded like a seal.

Slept at the basketball court with Jem, Hakim, Sean, Louis, Gerold and Qahhar cause we were supposed to play soccer at 4am. (but didn't cause everyone overslept and refused to turn up)

Went hyper during breaks and games.

Ate Ben and Jerry's with my beloved atlas house comm after the camp.

Oh and the highlight of the camp was team dinosaur's group cheer.

Everyone loved it, especially the guys.

Cheer:

Dino, Aiyo Aiyo!!

Miao~

Intentionally, it was meant to be a "Rawr!!" which Kathleen supposed to make after hiding behind the guys for the first three lines.

But when she jumped out and "Rawr-ed", it was like a small cat miao-ing.

Cute.

But it made the crowd go wild and calling for encores.

Oh yeah, I managed to coax her into doing it the second time even though she was so embarrassed until she blushed like a baby.

SLO camp was fun. Great success.

I wonder how fun the actual thing is gonna be, I'm expecting alot too. =)

Good job SLOs!!

ting!!

2008-03-27T23:04:00.002+08:00

I'm currently hooked up on this IQ-game which I play during my free time at home.
It's base is a shape of a triangle, consisting of many hemi-spherical holes it.
You're supposed to place different shapes onto these holes which will result in you forming the triangle.

Sounds confusing, I don't have a picture of it. Sorry.
And I am going crazy trying to fix up the centres of my 5x5x5 rubik's cube.

These are the things that get me going when I study too much. Lol.
I REALLY need to relax.

Drained

2008-03-24T18:19:00.001+08:00

School's going to start tomorrow.
I am not mentally prepared for it.

I don't have a choice do I? =D

Draw

2008-03-22T11:33:00.002+08:00

Easter service was great, and I really love the fellowship.
2 hours playing live-sized foosball really kills the life out of us.

I'm a failure in waking up.
I originally planned to rise and shine at 8 a.m. today to take care of some not-so-important-to-others-but-important-to-me stuff.
Well, being unable to hear my alarm, I finally woke up at 11.
Sigh.

Someone needs to invent something which can make even the heaviest of sleepers wake up from an alarm.
Come on, Japanese physicians!!

mathematics

2008-03-20T10:43:00.002+08:00

It's finally over!! Haha.

Well, actually it's not totally over yet until after my A levels.
But still, I feel that it's a new start to something fresh.

Highlights of my Block Test Examination:
1. Surprisingly, Econs (which is my worst subject) was the easiest paper among all four.
2. Chemistry was a horror, I bet more than 3/4 of the cohort will flunk it.
3. Physics and Econs are my only two potential Bs.

And are you ready to hear the most amazing thing I could possibly accomplish?

4. Maths was my ONLY potential A, but I didn't have the last page of the paper and I missed out on question 11 and 12 which made up 26 of my marks. Blur block Ryan did not check the number of pages just because the teacher didn't ask him to.

Sigh, there goes my 26 marks. And the best part was that I had 45 minutes to spare when I was done and I didn't suspect a thing. I was oblivious to my missing page until the last 5 minutes where I saw my classmate flipping to the back which in my case was a blank page. That was when I counted the marks which my paper had and it added up to only 74 marks.

Haish........

LOL, but many people keep telling me, "Never mind larh, just get full marks for everything else and you can still get an A."
Chew Long even said, "You give me your 26 marks I don't think I can still pass."

Hope I can afford a pass even with the missing 26 marks, or maybe something better?
It's a lesson to be learnt, from now onwards, I will double-check my paper inside out even if the teacher has already asked me to check.